Life - full of ups and downs. Without challenge, life would be too bland to be appreciated. Just got back from the dean's office. He had to delay our appointment to later this afternoon coz something came up and he had to attend to that. I desperately need to resolve some issues regarding my project with him. My project is a good one... but its quite difficult to get on with it when there's no one that's well versed in this field that i can refer to. Well.. there are.. but i can only get to them online.... and they are professionals whom i can only get in touch through my questions in mobile application forums, such of sun's java or sony ericsson's or nokia's. So now, i wanna try to get him to narrow down my scope a little... and after that, i'm getting a 2nd supervisor who is not as busy as the dean. I dont want to have to scrape off this project entirely because this is something new and there is a large market for mobile applications. But then again, i dont think that i'm the "lab-rat" material... you know.. the one who gets to be the 1st to try out something new.... the pioneer.... i dont think i'm capable of being that... and yet.. i'd wanna do it. *Sulk* I dunno... for the time being, i just wanna work on something that i can have someone well-versed to refer to, and something that i can complete in a few month's time. I'm getting sick of being here for too long. :p

Dan called me last night. He's back in KL but he arrived later than scheduled coz there were some problems and the flight had to be delayed. It was around 0130 when he called and i was already asleep, but i struggled to keep myself awake coz i'd been waiting to hear from him for quite some time. I miss him so much! The last time i saw him was on Sept 19th.. oh.. it'd only been two weeks? Geez... it sure seemed like ages!...

Anyway, he was telling me about his worries.... his ATPL test, his 2-weeks leave.... in short, he was stressed out. He told me that he had to be in Shenzen for another fortnight before he can get his 2-weeks leave. That means he'll only be back on the 25th or so... when according to what was planned, his leave was to start around the 13th or so and we're supposed to have a week-off together starting the 17th onwards. So, when he told me that he's only coming back on the 25th, i was really crushed... frustrated... annoyed... everything. Well, its not his fault that he'll have to fly... its the company la... Stupid transmile. I mean.. when you've already granted leave to a person on a certain date... means that you have to let that person have his leave on that very date. They're not supposed to push back his leave just because they cant find other people to fly. Its not that he'd just applied for the f***ing leave yesterday.. he did so like last month... early last month.. and they've granted that. They should have scheduled for other pilots to take up his place already right?? But no.... they want him to fly coz there's no one else to fly... Bloody idiots! I'm not being selfish here. Its just that.. the company had screwed up with his leaves one too many times. It doesnt just affects me.... but it affects his plans with his family as well. But what can i do about it? I cant even tell him that i'm really sad that we couldnt spend the week together.... I dont want to add on to his worries. Well... thanks to the motherf***ing bastards, i might only see him during raya... IF we're lucky enough.

Last week, i had a so-called friend making a very judgemental remark on another dear friend of mine whom that so-called friend barely knew. For God's sakes.... who does she think she is? If she's so perfect... she'd be God!.. but hell.. she's not God.. she has flaws... and with all that flaws... what makes her think that she qualifies to pass such judgemental comments - to someone she barely knew! Just because she's in a whole different league than i am now doesnt make her any better. We are all human. We can never be perfect creatures. What's good for one person doesnt mean that it'll be good for the rest of the population. I feel that friends should be sensitive to their friend's feelings before passing any comments, especially when commenting on someone so dear to that person. If she has nothing nice to say... then.. dont say anything. Its not wrong to give out advice... but advice is totally different from being judgemental.... and advice is only to be given when it is asked! Right now, i seriously dont feel eager to know about that so-called friend's life anymore. If before this i'd been really keen to know about her whole new life.. well... thats just not the case anymore. If she thinks that she has such a perfect life right now.. surely my closing out from her world wont even scratch a mark. Good! Then we're both happy. Why cant i just be forgiving? Well... forgiveness, like advice; is granted when it is asked (to me.. thats what i think. Everyone else can think of it differently, we all have the right to). I'm not someone holy... i'm just plain jane.. i take time to forgive.... and much, much longer to forget.

There... i'm pretty relieved now.