I feel so damn lousy today. Probably because i dont have peace within. My heart is in turmoil.... my head cant think straight.... my body doesnt respond well. I'm practically exhausted... mind, body and soul.The Genting escapade would be a great help. But what i really need is some time away..... if possible... i wanna be left in solitary. I want my time alone.. away from everyone so that i can rejuvenate myself... reorder my mind... make peace with myself. Not impossible but not easy to come by.

I remember back then in tronoh... i'd spend time by the lakeside all by myself, away from everyone. I'd enjoy the glimpse of fishes in the lake and breathe in the serenity and tranquility that the lake projected. It wasnt really a secluded lake... quite a number of students go there to canoe or just to enjoy the scenery. But when i sat there at my favourite spot by the lake.... everyone seemed to vanish from my world... and there i was, looking down at the lake as its tranquility devours any turbulance that i might have inside me. it was such a long time since i had my own time like that....... and i'm in desperate need of such solitude right now.

I'm suffocating.... i need some space.

P/S: Dan's dad was admitted to the hosp early this morning. I really hope that everything will turn out to be well.

Wow! The weekend just passed by like a breeze. It just flew by.. and now its already monday. Later tonite, silat class. Tuesday, duit masuk..hopefully! Then gtg buy the cheongsam fabric thingy for my convo apparel. Wednesday, aerobics, silat oh..and... balik fro genting escapade.. Yeayyyy!!! But then again..sempat ke nak catch the midnite bus after silat??? silat's supposed to end at 2300...but..aiyaa..dunno la... i hope i can make it..coz i hafta!!! Anyway.... here goes.. the chronology of the last weekend. *smiles with blood-stained ears*

Friday, 20th June
Dan's back from Bkk. He called me when he arrived in KLIA and again later that night when he was in KFC with Capt. Jamal... Hmm.. what the hell is he doing back in msia?? dont tell me he misses this place already..heheh.. Anyway.. Dan said that he'd be fetching shikin later and have a catching session with the both of them. When was the last time they had one? I dunno..probably when we're at KLIA kot... when Capt Jamal was leaving for his homeland...mana tah...i cant quite recall.

Saturday, 21st June
Its already Saturday!!! Woke up quite late after waking up for Subuh... Quickly showered coz we were really excited about going over to Abg Roslizan's in Sri Manjung. I think it'd been a year (or more) since we met them last. By 1030, K. Ghazi n Azno came by to pick us up, dropped by at the daily market to get some munchies and melons for K.Jee and kids and drove off to Sri Manjung via Pantai Remis. Anyway... after a 2 hrs drive, we arrived right in front of Abg Roslizan's. *smiles*

Chatted for a while with k. Jee after not meeting her for some time... and lepak for a while coz everyone was kinda exhausted from the journey. Then...watched tv for a while when aima and hubby came. *smiles* Like wow! she looked fantastic! her complexion was really great and radiant and we were like...wow.. aima.... berseri-serinya... Uwaa...nak kawin!! then Abg Roslizan came outta his room and..jeng jeng jeng.... 1st bombarding session..heheh... here goes nothin...
"Ok..selama ni apa sumbangan korang pd cekak?"
"emm..baru nak aktif balik aaa bang... lgpun bebudak baru masuk..so baru mula turun klas aah.."
"..tapi skang banyak lupa buah aa bang..."
Here goes the 1st bomb
"tau apesal lupa buah? haa... sebab korang byk bohong...."
"Bohong?emm.... rasanya tadek aa bohong bang.."
"byk bohong..ckp ngarut... slalu kalau lepak2 korang borak apa? org tu ensem la..apela..betul dak? Pastu masa smayang tau ke maksud sume yg korang bace dr takbir ke tahyat akhir? haa... tau? kalau tak tau..bohong la tu namanya...cakap je..tapi tak paham mende pun.."
Yeouchhh.... i feel 'blood' trickling down my ears...haa..berdarah telinga kena laser...hahaha..padan muka.
"tadi masa korang belek gamba kawin tu...apa korang cakap?? haa... komen kat orang..tiba kat korang sok..kot terkehel mana mana... amacam?"
Adei...kena lagik... we were looking at aima' wedding pics before and we were commenting abt abg hatta's droopy eyes la and what not..in a joking manner la..not seriously. tu pun kena gak... padan muka lagi skali...... :( So..that was the 1st bombarding session.... even then... telinga rasa nak tercabut.. :p adei... well... i know he said all those things because he cares for us. he wants us to do good things, jaga semayang, jaga hati... all that because in the end, that is all that matters. We felt the pang because whatever was it that he'd said really reflected us... so..padanla muka..I think it's good to have someone to tell us what we do wrong and when we do wrong quite so harshly like that. Sometimes.. it takes harshness of words to be able to learn.

Towards the BBQ dinner, the 2nd bombarding session came.. now from K.jee...
"korang tido umah kan malam ni?"
"emm..tak buleh aa kak.. kena balik... esok ada agm"
"laa..dah tau takleh tdo sini buat apa datang??"
Adoi.....kena sebijik.... :p

Hmm..enough la that i'd shared 2 bombarding sessions.... there were more... but i'd rather keep it to myself. So, we proceeded having dinner and all and alang came. She too, looked gorgeous after being married to Abg Man. Hmm... how come everyone who's married looked so good??? ni yang nak kawin gak nih. :(

Later that nite, Dan called... and said that he was stressed. And we talked and talked.. but somehow, i failed to cheer him up. He was getting more and more upset, and i was quite afraid that what i say might upset him more..but still our conversation lasted for like 45 mins with a few mins interruption when his mom called him. It wasnt a nice conversation coz he was stressed and i was tired so it didnt end up well... but why elaborate if it's not something nice to elaborate on rite? All in all... it wasnt really a great night.

At approximately 0200, we left Sri Manjung and head home for pbuntar.

Sunday, 21st June
Arrived home at about 0430. Got changed as quickly as possible and headed straight for the sack. Set the alarm to 0630..heheh... and ended up waking up 0830... hahah...habis subuh that day... subuh gajah.. Anyway, showered and got dressed and hurried to the agm with nura. We were there at 0930..which was quite early coz the agm starts at 1000 at not 0900 as we thought it would be... So waited a while, then fled to get some bfast and hurried back in when Dr. Majid was already halfway giving his opening speech..heheh... Soon after, it's teabreak... hehe...2nd bfast of the day. :) We had to join the same table as Dr. Majid, Abg Shafiee and Abg Nezam since we were considered the golden girls.. a.k.a the warga emas.. heheheh... supa senior. So we ate a bit and Dr Majid started to tell us things about cekak.. just what we needed after such a long period of not charging up on cekak stuffs. The topics that he went through were miscellaneous... from persatuan matters, perpecahan, lambang... everything. It surprised us that we actually sat there listening to him for like 3 hrs plus! Like wow!! After the lengthy preach, i had to rush to the restroom..hehehe... the air conditioning was put on high.. and it had taken a toll on my bladder. :)

Nothing else happened that day and i retired early to bed. This morning.. again subuh gajah... Isk... i hate it when that happens. So..this morning, i read on the positioning stuffs and made some notes. Need to study as much as possible coz i wanna take a pretty looong break this upcoming weekend. *wink!* Now...i've to continue studying and making notes! Gambatte kudasai azareen-san!!

Yawn!~ oh dear.. so sleepy.. must be the massive nasi lemak breakfast i had this morning. It was ok la for a nasi lemak..but it'd be even better if served with slices of cucumbers as well.... wonder y ppl in pbuntar rarely have cucumbers along with their nasi lemak..its just not right! Anyway, when i was about to leave the stall, something in harian metro caught my eyes... Hmm... a picture of someone who looks damn familiar... Shikin, Dan's friend. I cant recall what the article was about but i'm sure it was shikin.... Tried to find the article in Harian Metro online... tak jumpa la pulak... Hmm... maybe i'll buy a copy later.

Didnt blog yesterday. Nothing to blog abt.. can you believe it??? I only spent half the day here in my little cubicle in campus and by lunch, i hurried home to catch some nap. Smalam pun ngantuk gak... wonder why i've always been such a sleepyhead lately... but then again, quoting k.nadras,"tido le cukup2 masa anak dara ni..nanti dah kawin tak boleh dah.." true isnt it? So.... i wanna get all the sleep that i can get. Its now or never!! heheh..

Anyway.. after napping for like 20 mins or so, i woke up and prepared myself to go to the main campus,png for swimming. *smiles* Swimming again, at last! after such a long haul! Stopped by at McD Juru (again!) and had Double Cheeseburger... i have no idea why i ordered that coz that wasnt really what i had in mind... but anyway i enjoyed it... and 45 mins later, off to pick up Nurul's sis in BM and shoot off to main camp.... It was fun (it'd be a lot more fun if i could swim though). there was this kid like maybe 8 or 9 yrs old... she was swimming so calmly and gracefully in the water.. like..wow! i mean.. malunya.. there we were.. a bunch of grown ups trying all our heart to at least 'swim' from this side of the shallower part of the pool to the other but ended up bobbing up and down the water.. and there she is.... as graceful as a swan.... swimming to the very deepest end of the pool!! jealous gila! Hmmm.... how the hell can i ever overcome my fears of the water??? Its like i can do the basics of swimming..but i'm just not confident enough to just let myself swim... coz halfway through, i'll be all panicky and end up having water gushing down my nose and throat...menyampah betul. :p I wanna swimmmmmm!!!!!!

I have to master the art of swimming before i end my masters... have to, have to, have to!! and now i've to return to my reading... sigh!~

Had been browsing through several bloggies yesterday... and i was and still in awe... like WOW!!! Everyone is sooo damn good at this whole bloggie layout thingy. really good! Now i feel like you diyana... rase cam tak best... org lain sume best! Huhuuuuhuu! Today i went to this site by TV Smith.. a pretty cool one. Its got like nice links and stories you know... I'll try to put a link to that site whenever possible.

Nearly went to penang yesterday... nearly. We were already halfway there when i received a phonecall to cancel the plan. Hmm.. started out like this. I called up Abg Roslizan, former YDP of PSSCM Perak telling him that we're planning to go over to his place this coming weekend. Turned out that he's in Penang last night and he invited us over for dinner in Penang. We were so darn excited and took off from pbuntar straight after maghrib and when were already at juru, he gave me a call and called it off coz he had to attend to an important dinner abruptly. Quite dissapointed but the way he apologized cooled everything up. ^.^ Its very rare to have grown-ups to treat us the semi grown-ups like a true grown-ups like he did... know what i mean?? So... we eventually had dinner at Juru's newly opened McD... it was a late dinner and i had chicken mcdelux, fries and coke lite. Felt rather guilty consuming that much cals so late at nite... even more so after realizing and accepting the fact *duh!* (that takes courage!!) that i've gained weight! Boo-hoo-hoo!! Unfair... how come it takes merely a fortnight to gain weight and a lifetime to lose it???

Oh yeah.... a nice thing happened yesterday while i was having dinner. Actually it was after dinner.. we were just lepaking there enjoying the night scenery outside of McD... when suddenly my phone rang... the name that appeared on my screen >aunty@home< heheheheh *smiles* Dan's mom called..just catching up on things.... I'd just thought of giving her a call earlier that day... and turned out that she called me instead! Hmm... she told me that k. fareez invited me over for almaz's bday party this sunday but i said i couldnt make it... really!! i cant make it coz we're having this cekak AGM on sunday... honest!! *azarEen gives innocent look* .... i think his mom sounded rather disappointed when i declined to attend....eeepppsss!!! So.. i thought of going over to her place when i go back end of this mth... turned out that she wont be around... She'll be holidaying to perlis-haadyai that weekend... Hmm... Phew!~

ok.. better start studying on my mobile positioning thingy.... chiao! Oh before that... here's a poem by Pak Lah entitled The Peace Within. enjoy! ^.^

The Peace Within -Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi

I seek the peace within
I seek not riches untold
To live a life of luxury;
I seek not millions
To live a life of plenty;
I seek not friends so many
To live a life of profligacy;
I seek he who is Al-Ghazali
I seek he who is Al-Shafie
To unravel the secrets in the Holy book
Seeking inspiration;
To unravel the secrets in the ways of the prophet
Seeking guidance;
I live only for Him, my Lord
He is my companion
He is my guardian
He suffices;
I live a life full of meaning
Immersed in the peace within

Ok..here are some new links.... Tried to link to opposition's sites too.. but cant seem to connect to their webbies... so.. for the time being..tadekla.. ok?

The TV3's explorace page had finally downloaded on my pc. The connection is so darn slow for God's sakes! maybe the connection is now being fully utilized since everyone is now back in campus and like myself, we're just too excited to get connected to the WWW every single day. The speed of the connection gets even worse on weekends... Grrrr....

Anyway.. about the eXplorace... its something like The Amazing Race. A couple makes a team and the couple will be sent all over Malaysia in the preliminary rounds in search of the RM100k cash reward. For the final stage, 3 surviving couples will be sent to some international locations.... interesting, exciting, exhilirating.... WOW!! Ironically, after all the excitement... the dateline for all applications is on the 19th... thats like a day away!!!!! and i'd finally managed to load the page only today!!! A couple needs to have a video shoot of 6 mins, describing themselves in both English and Malay and they'd also need a copy of their valid passport... and my passport is at home. :( I wanna join the race!!!! I certainly hope it doesnt end after the 1st season.... i really hope that there'll be more seasons next... so that i can at least apply to enter??... Sigh!~... ok... joining the eXplorace will be on my list of things-to-do before settling down.... hehehe.... ;)

Ok.. got some reading to do... Chiao for now.

Ok... i'm ok now. Dan msgd me thru msn and told me that he's alright. He said that he spent the weekend taking his friends touring Bangkok.... Thank God he's ok. ^.^

Went to do a bloodtest with satria, alqas snd diyana just now. I thought it was the finger tip blood withdrawal kind of test.. sekali kena amek kat lengan!!!! Uwaaaa!!! I nearly backed out when i discovered that...hehe... tapi..what the heck... so i was the last person of all four of us to sit there waiting for my blood to be drawn out... hey..t'wasnt that bad after all! :) By noon our rsults were ready and alhamdulillah... all of us are within normal range.. our cholestrol, blood sugar level... everything was ok. When we were consulting the Dr, Alqas asked him.... what diet would he recommend for someone to lose weight effectively. Tau tak Dr kata hape.. He said.. "ok.. you go here and type in whatever it is that you want to find out in this box..see this box?" he said..pointing to google's main page...like Duh!~ like we dont know that already...hapela dr naim! :p

Hmmm..... ok..gonna hafta read to prepare for my presentation. chiao!

T'was the longest weekend ever! I dont know why. It just feels that way.... even the whole of last week seemed endless. Probably pms thingy. Spent Sunday at Azno's again coz Nura wasnt home yet. She sent me a msg while i was spring cleaning the house. She said that she'd only come home today coz she was going to Pdg Besar yesterday with her in-laws to be. Hmm.. guess it was a somewhat wise decision not to follow her back last friday huh? In my currently fluctuating mood, i'd certainly feel out of place then.

Sill fretting about Dan. The last mail i got from him was on Friday morning and i didnt get a reply for my mail that day. His last mail didnt sound so good... I cant help it. I'm just sooo worried as it is. What in the world could happen to him? This is so killing me! Its like we can only connect through the internet and when he doesnt get connected, i dont get his news and it's such a torment to just sit here and wait.... Waaaarrgggghhhhhhhh!!!

I dont wanna be here....

Saturday at parit buntar home... hmmm.. when was the last time i did that?? Nura went home.. so did akak ina.... so i'm here all alone... well not exactly actually.. i'm at aznor's house, spending the night there tonight. Did some gardening this morning. Not so good a job but still ok i should think. I trimmed the grass, did some weeding and watered the plants.... took me like an hour and a half to complete the job... Man... gardening is tough!!

After gardening, it was already like 1030... so had bfast, lazed around for a while (penat tau gardening!!!) then thought of cleaning the house.. but too exhausted to do so.. So i decided to take a shower, pack my stuffs and walk over to aznor's... and that's what i did. Spent the rest of the day at aznor's.. eating the whole day coz her mom came by in the morning and left us with all this yummy goodies. I ate my heart out.... not because i'm like famished or anything.... but just to get my mind off things.... Things i really hate when it happens.

Malam... went to silat class.. just for a while... and now, here i am in front of the pc; with aznor at the other pc watching tv with usop. As for myself.. i'm crying my heart to aiza... but only online laa... hmm... :(

A little worried abt Dan... how come he didnt msg from Bkk... Is he ill or sth?????? So worried! :(

I'm like really, totally BORED.. to like a deadly bored extent..... Nura had gone home. I'll be home alone tonight. Oh boy... how nice if Dan is here. I miss him so very, very, very much.. times infinity.... ;(

Tomorrow morning.. 1st task... i'll hafta spring clean the whole house... Rumah penuh sawang.. heheheh... Whatta do.... every weekend je tadek org kat umah.. so now that i'm at home... i'll do it la... This evening before heading home, singgah kedai hamdan beli bun... for dinner tonight. Hadn't eaten rice for a few days.. not because i didnt want to.... malas... now that the kids are back.. the queue to buy food at the cafetaria is like so damn long...malas nak q... heheh.. so.. simplest way.. eat bread instead.

Nak gi Bkk... ;(

Went to meet Dr Othman yesterday... Now he wants me to put WAP into considerations... hehe.. always something new to venture upon... :) After meeting him, i went to see Dr. Bad.. and he's a real help. He'd put things into perspective for me.. like where to start and what to be considered. He's always so helpful. ^.^

Dan called me yesterday... around 2000 i think... It was so good to hear his voice. He sounded kinda tired though... Its like i was just having this hunch that he might gimme a call when i was just about to start to pray... and he did! Its like we are so in sync, we're basically joined at the head! hehehee..... Awww.. i miss him so much... and a bit worried too.. He's tired.. and he sounded like he's running a cold. I hope everything will be fine for him. I pray for his well being all the time. Oh yeah.. he asked if i prefer a short or a long strapped black handbag... Hmmm.. looks like another handbag coming my way. :)

Today in the news, there's something about maxis having some technical problems resulting in difficulty to connect to telekom's fixed line phones... No wonder i couldnt get through to my mom the whole day yesterday!!! Hampeh... mmm...

Okla... better start doing stuffs for my project... What stuffs? i'm not sure yet.. but might as well do something right? Chiao!

Why did i have to wake up this morning??? Yawn!~ So sleepy. Had to attend silat class last night. Not practicing though, just the usual lepaking at the pavillion watching our juniors in action. Everytime we get together like that, we'd surely drift into the "remember-the-time-when...." type of conversation... God! Its like a significant reminder that we are really getting OLD..... yeah.. that, andalso the fact we've been in campus for a little too long.... When do i actually leave this campus for good?... Would i? Of course i would... but there are always chances that i might return and teach here... hehehe.. yeah right. If i'd wanna be a lecturer, i'd might as well do it in UiTM. The pay is a lot better. :)

Bumped into Dr Ansor this morning... Apparently he still remembers me. Cool! he just went like, "Oh..awak buat master eh sekarang ni? full time ke? by research ke by course?" It'd been like a year (++)since i took his Communications course (the one that i didnt do well in.. in fact that mostly everybody didnt do well in). I remember meeting him in his office with my friends, asking him about things we didnt quite understand... spread spectrum la.. this la..that la... and he'll go like "kamu ni yong... macam mana ni.. kata engineer... " hehehehhee.....

Dan is still in Bkk... flying daily flights to HK from Bkk. He said Bkk is a nice place. Had a chat with Shaz the day before and told him that Dan is in Bkk and he got pretty jealous... coz he wants to be in Bkk too, for his girl, Oah lives in Bkk... Well Shazzey.. that makes the two of us who wants to be there with our loved ones very badly.. :p

Cant get thru to my mom on the house phone.. Could it be that the line was affected by the flash flood? But that was like the day before yesterday!! :(

Ok..ok... i should go consult my supervisor regarding my project.... I dunno whatta report to him... but i know he'll do most of the talking... and provide me with the support and guidance i'll need. :) Ok.. chiao!

P/S: Enriquetta in Juana's Miracle is so pretty!!!!!

Guess what..... totally blank mode... It always gets to this you know. When you're ready to really commit to your project, you just dont know where to start! Hate it when this happens! Its like for once, i'd wanna really concentrate on doing this project thingy you know.. like really getting started.. problem is.. i just dont know where to begin! God help me!!

Ok...its like i'm supposed to develop an application (well actually 2 applications), accessible by handphone user. Apparently there are 3 stages involved: developing the user interface; that's what the user sees on the phone's small screen... the internal mambo jumbos... as in how data are exchanged between the user and the database and finally there's the database.. to keep all the required infos... Ok... To get all of those things done, i need to use programming languages.. like probably Java and VB... I have no idea whatsoever on how to work with those... but its allright.. i heard both languages aren't so difficult to catch up on... And the biggest hurdle of all is to actually eliminate my hatred for programming.. one that i'd developed during my freshmen years while i was studying the C Programming.... Huwaaaa!!! Therefore, anyone who has any idea at all on developing an application for mobile devices are encouraged to help me out.. please!! i'd really need and appreciate whatever help that might come in handy. See... i'm so desperate to get this project going!

Need to see my supervisor for a shoulder to cry on.. Doubt that he'll provide one.. but he'll definitely gimme some ideas on where to go from here... Hope he wont ask me to pack up my stuffs and leave! :P

Hmmmm... i hate it when life gets mundane and bland. How nice to have all the sizzle and excitement of life like right now! Hmm... bored as hell.. with nothing much to blog... Sad but true... well... looks like its reading time! Not that i really want to... but i'd just have to if i really wanna finish off this research by march.... Yawnnnn!~

Oh yeah... i discovered that i gained weight yesterday. Damn!!!!! Its soo unfair... probably its muscles gaining mass but.. i dunno.. i just dont want to believe that... Really need to diet!!! Warrrgghhhhh!!!.....Yeah.. dont worry.. i wont go overboard... i promised Dan...

Bosanla.. nothing to write.. better go on with my reading... Oh yeah... KL was strucked with flash flood yesterday..like really massive... There was even a drowned person... can you believe that? Wonder what the Drainage & Irrigation Dept people will have to say abt that....

Ni sapela mamat nak buat gempak nih... alamak... macam bagus la lu mat.. duh..!~ Ppl like yourself are just not my type...well.. that's if you even have a type to start with. Maybe you do : - The "Please-acknowledge-my-existance-coz-i'm-desperate-to-make-myself-known-but-i'm-swuch-a-coward-to-do-so" type... Get a life nimrod! Duhhhh...

Anyway... back to my life.... just came back from KL yesterday.. as usual... monday is an extended holiday... Kak Ina said that Dr Othman dropped by yesterday to discuss about the VHDL class thingy.. erkk..kantoi big time... darn! Tapi tak kisahlah.... the KL weekend getaway was ceratinly worth it! ^.^

Spent the whole Friday with Dan.. and yeah.. he did what he wanted to do when i get back.. stuff me with food... We had bfast together, finishing the sandwiches he'd got from flight... Had a chicken and cheese sandwich.... Then he took me to McD for lunch, on the way to his office in Subang... and later that night... dinner ant Chilli's KLCC... I had a generous pportion of chicken, mashed potatoes and vege and it tastes wonderful!~ Total Yummy!~ Couldnt finish the whole meal though... heheh.. so he had to finish off my cheese laden grilled chicken. :)

Saturday.. went out with him again... after picking him up at WM Putra stn. I drove him around coz his landie wasnt fit for driving around town... Then, sent him to his bro's in the afternoon.... Later that nigt pick him up from his bro's, shoot off to his place to help him pack for his Bkk stay.... and then went to have chicken chop for dinner at Cozy's Great Eastern Mall... Luckily they allowed us in... it was quite late and the place was preparing to close.... After that sent him to his parents' place to get his landie...and i drove home.... Tiring day.. but well worth it! :)

Sunday... Dan flew off to Bkk and he'll be stuck there to do Bkk-HK flights for 12 days. :( So that day, spent the whole day with my mom... followed her to a kenduri kawin, then in the afternoon, we went to the Midvalley Megamal.. sampai sesat sesat carik jalan pergi n balik.. Well.. i dont usually drive my way around town.. For me, its easier to get around in public transports... less comfy, yet easy... Lagipun... i'm not the kind who's good with directions. Even if i've taken the same route a few times, i tend not to register that in my mind.... I dunno why... I have such difficulty to remember all the details... heheh.. (azno n nura knows that well about me).. so.. berpusing pusing la in bangsar area for like 1/2 an hour to go to and to get back from Midvalley... Mom bought me a CR wallet for my bday.. and bought a belt and wallet set for my bro's upcoming bday... Hmm what should i get him???

Hmm... Dan's mom is expecting sth to happen after March... hehehe.. sth like you know.. the big M.... hehehe.. why March? Because i told her that i might complete my studies by March.... hehehe... i hope i will.... but.... lets have some time after i finish my studies to get a job before talks of the big M..ok... Engagement takpe la jugak.... Mmmmmmmaaariage???? Mmmmm...... i reserve my comments.... hehe

okla... better get ready to go.. Nura should call me in a couple of minutes.. Ciao!~

Its after lunch now.. and didnt really feel like coming back to this cube of mine.. but had to coz i left al my stuffs here. So... gonna do a teeny weeny bit of studying.. if i can still manage to (Uwaaa.... i cant understand what i read!!) and around 3.00 nura will come pick me up and balik!!! ^.^ At least i can take a little nap.. and might even have a frozen yoghurt snack... I just love frozen yoghurt... not plain yoghurt but the flavoured ones... Yummy!~ and low in cals too! :)

Was browsing some of my friend's blogs.. Apparently, some of them are in some kind of problem, what i'm not quite sure... Hmm... Hafta apologize if i'm not sensitive enough to acknowledge whatever it is that's going around me... lately i've been taking this policy - dont meddle in anyone else's business unless they want me to... So i dont go around asking people what's the matter, instead i sit and wait, and if they come to me to tell me what their problem is.. i''ll be willing to listen. Why? Well...i dont wanna intrude. If they want my help, they'll ask for it.. and if they dont ask for my help.. means that i'm better off minding my own business! As easy and as simple as that.

Juat had a chat with Zima... one of Dan's friends... Zima tanya bila nak kawin... I'd love to answer as soon as i get back home... hehehe..like that's gonna happen! :p Bila ek nak kawin??? Entahlah.. there are just so many things to take into consideration... Kalau ikut niat nak elak maksiat... memang nak kawin a.s.a.p.... but then... my mom said that i can only get married after i get a job (and looking at the current economic turmoil.. getting a job wont be a breeze!~)... lagipun.. if i get married before i get a job... it'll make it even more difficult to get a job because employers will put that maried status into consideration.... plussss short of cash to get married!!! Macam mana la nak kawin??? :( Aiyaaaa.... apapun balik ni i'd have to push my mom to actually start building the house in sepang.... At least, with a proper house.. bleh aa "ikat" (as my aunts and granny put it.. ntah nak ikat apetah?) Hehehe isk..gatainya anak dara nih.. :p

Apela mengarut... ok la..better chiow.... hafta read up a bit so that i wont feel so guilty that i didnt study enough today. Oh yeah.. wont be back til tuesday! Yeayyyyy!~

p/s Here's something motivational... taken from m.carey-thru the rain ...
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

I was just browsing thru thestar online today and read something about ermm.. midriff baring clothings in the lifestyle section. The author commented that usually a women dress not to get the attention from men or try to provoke/tempt them in any way.... the truth is.. usually women dress up to impress other women... Which i do agree... coz i think i do that most of the time,unless of course i was going out on a date then i'd dress for my beloved... Even then, i dont dress up that much.. i dont even don any makeup like i do when i go out with my girlfriends and cousins... Its not like i dont put any effort on dressing up for my date.. but i tend to put more effort when i go out with fellow ladies.... Why? I dunno. It could be a way of ermm... self-esteem booster of some sort. You know.. the nice, confident feeling you get when people walk by and notice YOU instead of your friends... that kind of stuffs... and maybe... you just wanna impress your girlfriends... as simple as that. Impressin gthem with your looks..your style.. everything perfect from top to toe. Why is it that things like this happens? Well.. i should think that because the female species tend to be judgemental towards other people, especially their own species.... You know how girls are known to bitch about other girls who they think have it all... stuffs like that. So.. i think thats why women take more effort to dress up.. for the sake of other women... Weird... but i think its true! Hmmm... If i were doing a research on social science, i would surely love to research on that hypothesis. ;)

Azno just came by and told me our friend alang is getting married today.... Afraid i cant go on such a short notice.. lagipun nura has lab.. and i'm going back to kl tonite.... Aaaaahhh.. remember how i said that i wasnt feeling that excited to go back yesterday... Well.. i can now feel a new surge of excitement to go back.... ^.^ Why aaa???

Ok.. went to the meeting.. It was a quick one..like for less than 5 mins... Dahla bukan Prof Syed pun.. Cheh... I was appointed to jaga VHDL Lab... Darn......
I thot this would happen... Hmm... Saya dah kata dah... :(

Okla.. need to find my books on vhdl when i go back. Nura's here already..better get going.

Whoaa... the connection's really great this morning.. very fast... very cool!~ Hmm... counting days to go back.. its already wednesday today. gonna go back tomorrow. somehow, i dont actually feel as excited as i usually get.... i wonder why. Probably because the lecture kot. God knows.

Anyway went to the gyn last nite... did 20 mins biking, 10 mins treadmill and the rest of the hour did toning on the machine thingy. Wasnt quite satisfied with yesterday's workout though. There was this weirdo standing nearby the machine and it was just so annoying... Its like he's not using the damn thing but he just wont leave the thing alone... What the hell was his problem?? Hmm... weirdo...

Thats all to report for the time being... There'll be a meeting with Prof Syed this afternoon.. regarding what? i dunno.. i wonder too.. Hmm... guess i'll just hafta find out later. Petang before aerobics gonna pick up the clothes from the tailor.. Yeayyy!! The only thing i look forward to today... Ok... gonna start reading the SMS Gateway manuals..... Sigh!~

There you go.. At last... a successful attempt to change my template.. Phew!~ Hmm.. this is taken from blogskins.com... i love it coz it's really colourful and bright... and it would really help to rejuvenate myself... heh..

Last night... had a half an our lecture on the importance of being well-nourished by non other than Dan... Hmm... ok..ok... i might got carried away with dieting that i dont actually eat well. I mean, for me.. i should think that i ate enough but not so for my body... My body began to react to my under-nourish state lately.. no.. not in the sense that i've lost weight (how i wish i did!) but in not such a good way... Lately i experience some kind of a "blackout" phase whenever i tried to stand up after sitting or squatting for a while. That is usually the symptom of low blood pressure or anaemia... but my blood pressure is normal.. and i dont think that i'm anaemic... My aunt who's a nurse said that it could be my diet.... and hell... i think i've to admit to that... :(

Since when did i come so obsessed with losing weight? I dunno... Hey... gimme some credits here... at least i'm not sooo obsessed that i've turned aneroxic or bullimic. Its just that.. i become very guilty everytime i feel full. And lately, i've started counting calories in my food... so that i consume like an average of 1000 cals per day. Thats not so bad is that? At least i dont cut it down to like 100 cals a day or something...

Ok..fine..fine... maybe its not a good way to diet after all. My body has proven that for me.. and now.. again.. time to change my plan. I have to lose weight no matter what. Why? Because i want to... Its weird you know.. its like usually ppl wanna lose weight because they're pressured to do so.. Me? I'm not pressured by anyone. My mom loves me the way i am.. so does Dan.. and he'd told me that time and again... hmm.. perhaps i'm a bit too selfish huh? I dunno.. perhaps i'm a bit envious of my cousin who dropped lile 10kgs in 1 month... I know she doesnt live a healthy lifestyle.. she desnt eat, she smokes.. and she's a bullimic... but still.. she lost weight! fast! thats the main idea... and that's what i intend to do too... minus all the unhealthy stuffs that she's doing la of course. Hmmm.... but then again.. why would i wanna be like her?? She doesnt even have a steady relationship for god's sakes! She is not happy.. she has gastric... and she also has high blood pressure.....Hmmm...

Okla..oklaa... i'm gonna switch back to a healthier-rice-eating lifestyle..... because if i dont.. Dan will tell his mom.. and i'm gonna get another round of lecture.... :(

:( i really dont like the turn out of this new skin.. the left column is a little too small to accomodate my chat box. Boo-hoo-hooo.. so sad.. The one i was working on doesnt have a blogger tag.. where the hell do i put those tags? How come it didnt come along with the template??? Arghhh... desperately going thru blogskins.com to find out what happened to the blog headers.... ;((

This is not the skin i promised to put up.. but it will hafta do for the time being... At least this has got the archives' section.. the one i wanted to didnt.... Uwaaaa.... the problem with the new skin is that it doesnt have a blogger head... hehehe.. blom abes blaja lagi nih.. so.. gotta work on it sum more.. Chiow!~

Somewhat 15 mins before i go out for lunch.. well.. not gonna have lunch actually. I'm fasting today.. sunat senin + i need to clear my system a bit. I think it must be really congested and clogged with God knows what after like one whole week not controlling my food intake... hmm... oh yeah.. and i gained 2 pounds because of that.. gosh..like in a week man.. damn!~

Anyway... went back to nura's last weekend. Went there friday nite.. and nura's mom made fried beehoon with mushroom.. very yummy. Saturday.. went to penang, accompanying Nura to get her car alignments done and to meet with her music teacher, whom she address as 'Sir'. Hehehe.. good looking gak. ;) Turns out that he's also one of the frequent NZ lepakers back in KL... cool huh? Glemer gak NZ ni..

Sunday, Nura's mom made nasi briyani with ayam masak merah and jelatah.... sangatla sedapnya. She made it to "celebrate" my birthday... so very thoughtful of everyone! So touched! Now i cant say that "Nobody loves me!~" as Sabina always does..heheh...

Hmm.. on the way back from Nura's.. she told me about what triggered her bad mood on my bday... She was feeling rather left out when we went out on my bday eve. I know i'd invite her along if i knew what's gonna happen... but i didnt.. and i didnt wanna wake her up coz she was nearly asleep that nite. I dunno whatta comment. I kinda have a lot to say regarding this matter.. but i think its not time yet. Publishing what i feel in blogger wont help to ease things out... it might even makes matters worse. So, i guess i should hold it back.. until after i can starighten things out. I mean.. feelings like these are inevitable... what more to emotions-packed women... So.. communication is very important... to make sure a friendship survives all the hurdles..

What did i just wrote about.... i have no idea.... so my tiny little heart mumbles....