Yoohooo!! Its Monday. Spent the weekend at Nura's. Saturday night, Nura's whole family and myself went to Pelita's Nasi Kandar to have Rumali bread.. which turned out to be really good. I was truly amazed at how they made the bread... They actually tossed the dough up.. seriously!! On Sunday, after Nura's dentist appointment, we went to the Gurney plaza to get some stuffs... oh yeah.. i got my swimsuit..heheh. Its a lovely (well..not that lovely but its ok) blue 2 piece..(no..not bikini!) and hey..its cheap! Its only 60 bucks and its Ogival. Cool huh?

Anyway... perhaps we're going for our very 1st swimming session tomorrow. And.. the best part is.. Dan would most probably be there in Penang coz he has a night's stop there and will be flying off to Bangkok early Wednesday morning. He'll be staying at the Vistana, which is quite near to where we're gonna swim so.. i might see him for a while. Yeayyy!!! :D So exciteddd!!
Well.. what does all that means?? It means that i'd hafta finish up this SPICE thingy today.. if not..too slim a chance of going tomorrow. So that's it.. gonna finish up my spicey circuits!

Btw... thank you Dan for reading my online journal.. i dont believe i actually let you!! I love you honey!

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you,
be gentle with yourself,
There is nothing wrong with you,
Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart...

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him,
Feel honored that love came and called at your door,
But gently refuse the gift that you cannot return,
Do not take advantage, do not cause pain;
How you deal with love is how you deal with you,
And all our hearts feel the same pains and joys,
Even if our lives and ways are different...

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you,
And then love chooses to leave,
Do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame,
Let it go. There is reason and there is a meaning.
You will know in time.
Remember that you don't choose love.
Love chooses you.
All you can really do is accept it for all mystery when it comes into
your life.

Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,
Then reach out and give it away.
Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.
Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.

There is a point where many lovers go wrong.
Having been so long without love, they understand love only as need.
They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled with love,
And they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather
than from them.

The first blush of new love filled is too overflowing,
but as their love cools,
They revert to seeing their love as need.
They cease to be someone who generates love
and instead become someone who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift,
and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
Remember this, and keep it to your heart.
Love has its own time, its own seasons,
and its own reason for coming and going.
You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying.
You can only embrace it when it arrives
and give it away when it comes to you.
But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover,
There is nothing you can do and you should do.
Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
If you keep your heart open, it will come again.

..found this somewhere. Any comments?

Its Saturday already... hmm...still reminiscing today, last week back in Kl..hehe... Well i'm now using my own pc (before this i use a public pc in the postgrad's room) and oh boy.. do i miss my old pc... hmmm... :) And i'm now doing my work in my owb cubicle... though i have my monitor screen facing the entrance.. i had no choice!

I've completed my powerpoint thingy and i'd hafta struggle studying aome anlog circuit stuffs so that i can do my SPICE thingy for Dr Rizal.... i hope i can study as fast as possible coz i'm going to Nura's this evening, spend the nite there and tomorrow morning we're gonna shoot off to png coz nura has dentist apptmt.

Well..o'd better go.... :) Its soooo nice to use my own pc! :)

Bommer!..Its already thursday and i havent completed my preps for the presentation this upcoming tuesday. I havent even confirmed my new title with my supervisor yet!! Gawd! Well.. worse come to worse, i'll just present some backgrounds.. and ask the audience for ideas of the applications huh? That is what this presentation is all about anyway... exchanging of ideas.

I made the bolognese yesterday and i really think that it was the best i've ever made!! Really... its juicy, and full of mushrooms...aaahhhh..just the way i like it... We finished the macaroni this morning but there's still some bolognese sauce left.. might have that with bread for lunch later... Yummy.. i can still taste the sweetness in my mouth...

Know what else happened yesterday? Well.. before i left for home, Fort and Ben chat up with me... So everything when fine and i was typing like a typhoon coz i was constantly typing to both of them. Ben was telling me that he was going to watch the movie Just Married later that evening and i reviewed the movie coz i've already seen it with Dan. So he asked what it's about and i told him not to watch it if he's planning to get married anytime soon or is in a very serious relationship coz the movie mihgt scare him off. On the other hand, the movie was good to watch to learn from the couple in movie's mistakes coz the guy really turned into a jerk after getting married. As soon as i said that.. heheh.. he got nothing to say... padan muka... right in the face! although i didnt mean it that way... but kalau terasa..bagusla!

But that isnt the biggest thing la... the biggest thing happened towards the end of our chat... he asked me.. "so how about later?? nak share tak?" and i became confused coz i didnt remember wanting to share anything with him. Then i asked him back,"share apa?i dont wanna share my pasta with you." i said (i told him i was making pasta for dinner). then he had the nerve to say "share happiness". What was that all about??? i mean c'mon. He is still behaving like that and he said its not his fault.. he said its just the way he is! The nerves of that guy... Arrrggghhh!! Luckily now that i'm in a stable r'ship.. i dont care much what he said... what if i was at my state back then... the confused state.. i would've taken that as something promising.. well wouldnt any girls?????

However.......... this is a good sign..... i can see the light... :) yup..the very bright spotlight shining down on me coz i win!! From the look of it.. i might win the game this time...i really hope to... just hafta to be careful..very, very careful...

God.. i am so hungry! hehehe... and a little bit excited to make the bolognese this evening. :D well... actually i'm still progressing with my powerpoint presentation preps... so as to put it in a positive light... stress on the word PROGRESSING.. heheh...

One teeny weeny question..... should you..or shouldnt you let your loving boyfriend read your online journal???? Should i let Dan read this blog of mine???? He asked me for the URL.. but i havent gave it to him yet... should i??? please advice! hehehe... macam post kat forum lak...

Gotta run... gotta quiz to do on msn... people do the weirdest things when they're bored... tell me about it..heh..

Ok.... did what i hafta do... i msgd huzei yesterday... too bad i sent it to the wrong number.. sucker! heheh... anyway she messaged me and we continued messaging each other... bla..bla..bla....you know the casual stuff. I dunno... this is sooo regrettable.. you know... the friendship. Its like we were once the best of friends.. even if we'd only known each other for a few months before we really clicked and become best buds. And now... its like we have this underlying thing that both of us wouldnt talk about and its like haunting our friendship, like some cancerous tumor. When girls breaks into a fight..this is how it ends up.... hate it!

Anyway...my life has got to go on... sometimes you just cant bother so much about how others feel...yep..cruel but you gotta do what you gotta do... Its not worth hurting yourself just to please everyone else... because you'll end up sulking and rotting on the inside. Consequently, that will affect your appearance coz if you dont feel good inside.. you wont shine on the outside.... heheh... there.. a bit of a morning motivation... hehehh..

Hmm... feel like making bolognese pasta for dinner. Nura is like craving for pasta and i knida pity her.. so i'll try my best to make a good bolognese for her. Well... bolognese is the only thing i know how to cook for the time being. Maybe later, when i get to know how to cook other pasta dishes, then i might do something else....

Okay... better get going.. i'm reviewing the recipe with my cooking pilot..ehehehe... :)

hmm.. azno came to me this morning and said huzei wants me to get in touch coz one of our friend (zurah) is getting married soon.. so she wants my address and stuffs.... duhhh! should i or shouldnt i??? i dont feel keen to.. but i guess an email wouldnt hurt would it? well... gonna write her one and get it over and done with.

another surprise.we're supposed to prepare a powerpoint presentation for this april 1st's presentation!!! Sucks! i dont even know what to present in the 1st place!

Hehehee... ello world! :) just got back from kl last night. And.. this morning, as i browsed thru the net, something from it actually made my day!! Before i went back on friday, i posted something on the sun's java forum well... wanting to get help from anyone that can help... and when i return today and checked, hey..it had been replied...!!! :) that really made my day.... why?.. well... somebody out there actually helped me... what a nice, nice world!!! :)

Had a tremendous weekend... Dan picked me up on Friday and we went for dinner at Kiwi's in Hartamas. Had the bolognese i'd longed for.. at it was superb! The next day, we went to the Midvalley Megamall and watched the movie Just Married.. and i kinda regretted watching it. Not because the movie wasnt good. It was ok... but then it scared the shit out of us.. and it would scare those wanting to get married coz the movie was about a couple going thru the honeymoon from hell where both of them really showed their true colors... and boy that was extremely scary!

Later that night we went to our old hangout place in ampang and had naan and tandoori... havent had those for a while. I had the best cheese naan ever and the best mint and tandoori chicken to go with.

The next day i was a bit cheesed off with Dan because he was late but things went fine. We went for dinner at the Cozy Corner in the Great Eastern Mall and soon after, he sent me home.

Monday, it was time to go... spent the morning looking after athirah for a while... She'd grown her two front teeth and boy... arent they huge!! She can also stand on her own now.. and she is as cute as ever!!! When i was going, i asked her to shake my hand and she ended up biting my finger instead.

I got all the stuffs mom and Dan got for me. The Gucci bag is really huge... and well i think that will serve well as a utility bag. The handbag Dan gave was beautiful and i love it! And i love everything that he and mom gave me... everything!!!.. the small soft toys, the perfume, the personal organiser, the pearl necklace, the bags.. i love them alll!!!!!

So.. here i am again... and i'm so looking forward for my next trip home. Really cant wait!

Ok.. wont say a word on war anymore. i have enough things on my mind that gives me terrible headache. God.. how the hell do i get this emulator thing to work?? i dont even know where to add the environment variable for the java application. Just as i'm trying to concentrate on my work.. i get all blurry and cant continue! this happens all the time! Luckily i'm going back home to kl today. At least 2 days of real rest..heheh... complete with the "enlightenment and entertainment" i'd need to keep me thru all these studying thingy... i hope!!

My bus will be at 1550 today...so looking forward to go home!!!!! What's making my heart ranting even more to go back today is that Dan will be free to fetch me tonight!! yeayyyy!! oh darn... i just remembered.... he's supposed to fetch me from his office and he should be in his uniform.. well that was the initial plan... but this morning he called and said he's already home!... just came back frm a flight to penang this morning. Darn! now he wont be fetching me in his uniform!!!! i want him to be in his uniform!!!! :(

Anyway.. his off day will be both saturday and sunday... and i think we can spend time together tomorrow... yesss!!! which will enable me to watch that movie.. "Just Married". i really wanna watch it.... No obvious reasons other than its something light that we can watch and relax and laugh.....i hope we will tomorrow. :D

Now i'm really stuck with this java setup thingy... and my tummy has started rumbling..... guess i'd better go.... oh yeah.. remember about the game on hitz.fm thingy.. hehehe.... nope.. i didnt have any luck on winning the cash... heheh.

Hmmm..back.... feeling i dunno... frustrated, angry,sad.... why? well.. the 1st bomb was landed in iraq at abt 10.30 a.m local Msia time. Thanks to jackass so called president Bush. And what does everyone do about it? talk.. and feel sorry..and do nothing. I myself as an individual.. i'm sorry that i cant do much in directly helping the iraqi.. all i can do is pray that Allah will save them. What i'm so pissed off about is the UN and the sec general. The start of war had proven that the UN is nothing but some sort of a US play thing. They(US) take UN as joke and only refer to them (the UN) when they want to use their power to dominate another country. They have no respect on what the body has to say.. or anybody else to say for that matter. And they call it making peace with the world. Kiss ma ass!

Its totally unfair when Iraq has to abide UN's agreement that they're not to use certain weapons which are claimed to be dangerous but the US doesnt have any restrictions on what they use. Is that a fair play? And what right does Bush have to force Saddam to leave the presidency? Iraq is indeed a free country and their people wants Saddam to lead. Who is Bush to question that fact? He really acts like someone coming from the stoneage. What can i say... alcohol effects just dont run off so easily.. especially when you're once an alcoholic!

And all the other nations supporting the move on iraq... well the hell with all of you. The only reason y they're not against the US is because they are just as much as a coward as Bush is. Insecure jerks!

I feel bad that i cant do anything to help. Bush and his allies who claims to be the follower of democracy should really be ashamed of themselves. Proves who the real terrorist is now huh?

I hope the senile, merciless pig die and rot in hell!

Cant believe i'm actually trying to solve this game by a radio stn... heheh. Its the hitz.fm runaround. it gave out like clues.. and you have to actually go to the places, get the clues.. and submit... i dont really get it.. but just helping out a friend. The cash prize for today has snowballed to 3 grands coz nobody won the cash yesterday.. so...cant continue... gtg... friend is waiting.chiow!!

There goes another weekend.... and hey.. its already tuesday!.. 2 days to go before i'm going back! Yes... finally going back home this weekend!!! YEAYYYY!

I was down with a cold yesterday... and was getting feverish a bit... I think I'm allergic to something coz i developed the nasal problems (itchiness and stuffs) after i ate something... so i think its probably what i ate... coz before that i was well!! Then, that night i had difficulty to sleep.. i didnt sleep the whole night... even after i had some warm milky drink at 3 a.m. (while watching Hotelier episode2), i still couldnt sleep!! luckily i dont experience any menstrual cramps that would only makes matters worse. Anyway.. after all that.. i went to the campus' GP yesterday and got my supply of panadols and piritons and vitamin cs.. as always... the Dr is soooo predictable!

Thank God i slept last night. It wasnt an uninterrupted sleep.. but i slept better than i did the other night... which is a blessing! Now i know the sufferings of a person having insomnia.... Its not like you can still do things like study or anything when you cant sleep.. its like.. your brain's tired and your head feels heavy... and you're sleepy as hell.. but you just can fall asleep.... the feeling really sucks! and it just feel so damn good to be able to sleep again... even just a little better than the previous night... at least i could sleep...

I watched something on tv this morning... and its always about the US wanting to attack on Iraq... well actually.. its about Bush wanting to attack Iraq. Its like the whole world is against him and he still wants to go on with his war thing. Some diplomatic move.. from a so called leader who proclaimed himself as the police of the world... how i would love to knock him in the head and tell him to finally get a life cause he obviously doesnt have one.

It's really unfair for the rest of the world to suffer the outcome of war. Prices of things will rise (well the price of petrol has already rose).. and that result alone is enough to make people's life uneasy. Well for Bush... he wont feel all these difficulties would he?.. why should he? The US pays for all his every whim. Pity the Americans for having to pay taxes to pay him. When the share makets starts crashing down.. then he'll get a little nervous. Cant he see all that coming??? Well.. maybe the traces of alcohol that is still in his blood from being an alcoholic back then that made him lose his ability to judge (well..like he has any... duh!). It so unfair that the whole world has to suffer just because Bush wants to "repair" his tarnished pride.... you know... tarnished when his dad lost the battle during the gulf war in 1990. well his pride is already down the drain for all i care. god damn that shameless jack ass!

Better not get way emotional there.... cherio!

Its Friday and i'm not going back to KL. Sucks! Anyway... things are not that bad coz Dan wont be free this weekend. He's having his test flights from today til Sunday and he'll be having a company dinner on Sunday too. It is said that the company is buying a new aircraft-a 747 and it has 12 seats onboard for staff flights! I can get into it.. well with Dan of course... and maybe we could fly to the UK... or some other places.. god knows... Heeehhee.. well.. the least i could do is imagine right??

Fort will be going back to Japan on Wednesday. Darn! and i thought that i could send her to the airport coz i thought her flight will be on the 23rd. Then, i'd be home. Turned out that her flight is on the 19th. So... tak sempat la jumpa. Only saw her once.... pity her. I didnt spend much time with her even when she's back. Her sister is getting engaged (finally!) this sunday.... Let's all hope everything goes on well.

The MATTA fair will be on this weekend. Was looking forward to go there to see if i can get cheap airline tickets. Shikin said she might be going to get good bargains. She invited me to come along. We plan to go to Japan.. coz Aiza's there. Hopefully the tickets are really cheap. Then maybe i can go.

Gee whiz.. my writing sucks.. so does my blog....

I am so deadly in love with Ja Rule's and Ashanti's new song MESMERIZE and i'm thinking of getting his album as soon as i possibly can.It's got a really catchy tune and the lyrics is as interesting as it gets! I'm just so head over heels for it... especially when i listen to it and think about hunny bunny... :D

Project.. hmm i'm still on the reading phase... you know sorting out stuffs.. and more reading.. Sometimes, when i read through a material, i get a little confused and began to ask myself if the module is what i'm supposed to read for my project.. you know that feeling? I know its not good.. coz it shows that you're not certain of what you're doing but hey.. its a research programme.. you are supposed to find out about things right? and you find out about things you dont know, right??? just look at the way i wrote that... see how my confusion is getting serious??

I dunno what else to write. If i go on writing i'd most probably blab about Dan.. so i better not.cherio!

Feel so sleepy.. not that i'm deprived of sleep or anything.. dunno why.. probably some sleep deficits which i dont recall having. Well i couldnt really sleep well for reasons i dont even know. It's just difficult to really get a really good night's sleep lately. Probably caffeine.. or maybe stress or maybe even its a bit warm in that room of mine.

I sooo cant wait to go home. I dunno when i'm going back but i just cant wait. Why?? heheh.. because there are just so many stuffs waiting for me back home! You know... stuffs that Dan bought for me frm aussie... stuffs mom brought home frm beijing... God.. i love it when everyone goes travelling. Wanna know what stuffs?.... heheh....

Dan told me that he bought me a handbag.. beige, partly leather with short strap. He also got me my Moschino perfume.. hehehhh... He even got my mom a tea towel or something. My mom, who came back frm beijing on sunday got me a bag.. a gucci bag worth somewhere around rm400+, a white gold necklace with a pinkish pearl pendant and a piece of fabric which i hope is nice.... Goddd i really cant wait to go home!!

Ok..gtg.. feel hungry.. nura had called.

I'm sooo excited!!! Just got a great news from Dr Zaid, our postgrad asst. dean that i got the pascasiswazah scholarship... MINUS the INTERVIEW!! how about that! cool huh? now i dont hafta pressure myself about applying for the NSF scholar. anymore... i was really depressed thinking of it coz i went to the one-day workshop and man.. it sucks! its like its really difficult to get a place! now that i got pasca, i'm so relieved!! Alhamdulillah!

Followed Nura back home on saturday.. her mom was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with stone inside her kidney. But she's okay now.. and we got back from her place on sunday afternoon. Arriving in prt btr early, we went to bagan serai, along with nura's fiance to a newly discovered shooping mall.... and he bought us stuffs... :) cool huh?? wait til i tell dan abt it.

Oh boy.. i'm just soo excited abt the scholarship i cant think of whatta write!.. will do so soon after i regain myself. cherio!

Back! Got back to prt buntar on monday and had a wonderful time back home. Went out with Ja, Eza and Eima on Saturday. We went to the Midvalley Megamall... had lunch at the foodcourt at the top floor and i satisfied my cravings for pasta and had fettucine marinara. The meal was worth the price as it had generous amount of seafood in it.. clams, prawns, squids..mmm yummy! Later that day, we went to have cakes and ice cream at the Secret Recipe. The Oreo Cheesecake was tremendously beautiful. It just melts in t he mouth with a very strong flavour of the most lovely Oreo cookies. Goodness gracious! I need to start back on my diet!

Later that night i went out again.. to have drinks.. and you wont believe with whom... Hehehee... Ben! well not just him.. there were also Mie and Zerol so.. it was okay. You might wonder why the hell i went out with Ben yet again.... well... i just wanted him to see me now... how much i've changed... even improved maybe... without his presence. And.. somewhere deep inside.. i want him to come back to me... so i can gladly tell him to buzz off coz i love someone else. hehehe.... another reason why i went out with him... i wanted to proof to myself that i was totally over him... you know what they say.. the only way to overcome your fear is actually by facing the fear itself... and hey.. now i'm soooo certain that i dont want him anymore... :D

Sunday, i went out with Syude and Fort. Syude is already working as some consultant at the OCBC Bank. She's changed a lot since the school.. she was such a tomboy in school and now she's sooo ladylike and stuffs... but she's still our gelabah and jumpy syude. As for Fort.. she's cuter... not chubby... cute. And her hair; still the blackest of black... hmm... i envy that a little... We met at the KLCC.. went for lunch at the Fish Shop (yeah.. fatty food again: deep-fried fish, creamy tartar.... boy i really need to diet!) and went to Bukit Bintang later coz Syude wanted to get some stuffs.

Monday.... i'm back in prt buntar... and spent the whole tuesday finishing 5 vcds of the Korean series, Hotelier. Dan called saying that he'd be leaving for Msia wednesday night and mom called before she left for Beijing that very midnight.

So that's all the reporting i've to do... hafta get back to studying GPS.... Warrrgggghhhh!! :((