Thursday, December 16, 2010

Sama

Guess what time i left the office today..? 8 pm. Siot. Sama je macam tempat lama. Well, at least it's once in a long while kinda thing and not something that i need to do a couple of times a week.

Sigh!~ Penatla. Feel so drained, fatigued, lethargic dan semua yang seangkatan dengannya. Probably the food that i put in my mouth kot. Carb laden, low quality food. Nak masak pun malas lately.

Oh..talking about food, 2 weeks ago i tried cooking with shirataki noodles. Rupa dia macam laksa yang licin tu, yang aku jumpa kat isetan it's packed in water. It's made of konnyaku, a high fibre substance (?) that came from the konjak plant. Oleh yang demikian, shirataki noodles ini low carb! *Claps* Yeay!! Texture dia macam spaghetti al dente. My first trial, i made beef ball soup to go with it. Kalau buat miso pun sedap kot, or laksa, kalau nak try bolognese sauce pun probably taste good. Yummm... :) Harga dia satu pack 4 ringgit lebih for 250g kot. Cari kat jusco tak pernah jumpa lagi. Haih..satu keje la plak nak gi KLCC kalau nak beli lagi.

Bila dah cakap pasal food, masuk la pulak bab diet. Hadeyy... tolongla bagi motivasi untuk saya dayet. Takde buddy nih, sangatla susah. Bhg baru murah rezeki lak tu, ada je makanan, tambah plak dengan aircond yang sejuk melampau. Lapar la jadinya, dan makan, dan makan, dan makan.. Huhu.. Camne target nak jadi hot mama nih. Huhu..

Which reminds me, i need to fix an appointment with my gynae. Tukar gynae dari gynae dulu. Dia popular sangat, ramai patient. Excited tapi kadang-kadang macam berbelah bagi... sebab it's time to get off the IUCD. :) Hubby kata ok, can take it out and leave it to God. Excited ada, berdebar pun ada. Hehehee...

Okla. Saya sangat penat dan nak tidur. Huhu. Awalnya tidur. Muscle sore tak habis lagi. Hit the gym 3 days in a row (eleh..org lain pergi tiap hari pun tak kecoh.. :p ). Ahad yoga, monday lower body, tuesday upper body. Hadeyyy... Well, as they said, beauty is pain... and quoting Pierre Auguste Renoir, "The pain passes, but the beauty remains" (thanks google). Heck.

Good nite darlings.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Nakal

Last Friday, masa ambil Sarah dari nursery, ada sorang kawan dia, budak lelaki 7 tahun berlari-lari bagitau aku, "Sarah cut Aldrin's finer with a knife!!".. Lepsa tu, si 'mangsa' datang tunjuk jari dia kat aku, and then comes the teachers bagitau about the incident. Diorang kata Sarah amek pisau dari pencil case cikgu dia yang tiada di tempat kejadian. Cikgu2 pun takde kat situ masa tu (kalau ada tak la jadi insisden ni kan?).. Dua orang budak la yang jari diorang terguris dengan pisau tu, adik beradik, sorang laki, sorang pompuan yang sebaya dengan Sarah.

First reaction masa aku mula-mula diberitahu, terus aku rasa disoriented. Don't ask me why, mungkin aku terkejut dengan berita yang anak aku boleh cederakan orang, mungkin aku tahan marah atau disappointment, aku pun tak sure, tapi memang aku boleh rasa aku disoriented (pada masa itu jugak aku dalam fasa red flag). So, there and then, memang aku tinggi suara kat anak aku la, which bila difikirkan balik, I regret it so much. It wasn't done professionally. I shouldn't have raised my voice at her in the presence of her peers/teachers. Walaupun takla teruk aku marah dia, but i did it nonetheless, and i feel terrible (i still do).

Lepas tu, padamasa itu, aku terus dengar cakap diorang and put the blame on my daughter. Again, bila balik dan fikir2 balik (termasukla input-input dari my mom) the blame should also be shared by the teachers/caretakers who failed to be vigilant enough to put sharp and harmful objects away from the reach of the children. Budak-budak tu banyaknya less than 7 years old. Takleh nak harap la budak-budak 7 tahun tu nak tengok yang kecik-kecik ni kan? Depa pun sama sekali jadi hero..

Bukan aku in denial, tak boleh terima anak aku ada buat salah. Yes, i accept that she did something wrong, and both my husband and i have ensured that she paid dearly for the mistakes that she made (A lot of scoldings + reverse psycho + a weekend of no TV). Tapi in this context, aku rasa the caretakers should be blamed as well.. Setuju tak?

Hmm.. Apapun, aku dah buat surat rasmi kepada pengetua sekolah, just so that it's put on paper, and to ensure taht such occurence doesn't happen ever again. Nasib baik haritu kena jari je.. kalau kena mata ke apa ke?? Na'uzubillah!!

Oklah.. off to fetch my daughter, and to drop the letter to the principle's office. Have a great evening!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Terkesan

Hehe. Terpaksa blog dari kantor. Mati akal hari ni (dan hari-hari lain juga). Tak ada kerja kah??? (Cheeehhh...)

Terkesan.. word of the day.

Last night, selepas puting beliung melanda seisi rumah (aku pun tak tahu kenapa budak kecik tu hangin satu badan semalam.. tak cukup tidur setelah lama bercuti agaknya..), anak aku dalam sedu sedan cakap akt au, "Mommy, you break my heart..isk..isk.. into pieces..." Huhu.. di kala itu, aku rasa sangaaaatttt sedihnya. Already i was having a bad day. Anak palk cakap macam tu. Bertambah la aku sedih nak rak. Huhu.. Tapi, bila aku ingat balik harini, macam kelakar pun ada.. Hehe.

Anyways.

Harini dikejutkan dengan khabar dari seorang rakan sekerja. Something yang sangat sudden, yang memang aku tak sangka akan berlaku. Dia ini lebih tua, umur dia nak dekat 40 dah, tapi kalau orang tengok, kata dia dalam early 30s pun percaya lagi. Kalau aku jalan dengan dia, all eyes will be on her la. haritu pernah sekali terserempak dengan seorang artis rock masa aku berjalan dengan dia, artis tersebut sampai menoleh ke belakang, tak lepas pandang kat rakan sekerja i itew. Anak dah 3, tapi body macam anak dara.

Honestly speaking, selepas menamatkan pengajian di kampus bersama-sama sahabat yang dah macam darah daging sendiri, bila pulang semula ke kota tempat lahir sendiri, au dah tak ada kawan rapat.. jangan la kata yang nak share sepinggan segelas sebantal, nak share masalah ke, cerita gumbira ke sedih ke, tak ada. Tapi, bila bekas kementerian terbubar, aku jadi rapat dengan kawan sekerja ni, so pada dialah aku ceritakan masalah ke, kisah gumbira ke, duka ke, nestapa ke. Sama-sama can be a shoulder to cry on to each other. I've always admired her. Aku tengok dia bahagia, anak-anak pun bijak, husband pun ok etc..etc..

Tapi, apa yang orang tengok indah dan cantik dari luar, tak menggambarkan pergolakan yang ada di dalam. Kan?

Dia dikejutkan oleh seseorang dengan satu berita yang memeranjatkan dan boleh menghancurkan hati mana-mana perempuan. But she took it very calmly. She remained poised, calm and collected. And that made me admire her even more, for her strength, for her courage, and foe the way she handles the situation.

Apapun, aku harap Allah sentiasa beri ketabahan pada dia, dan akan lindungi dia dan anak-anak dan semoga she can have her happy ending, for her sake and for her children sakes. I hope things will turn out alright for her and her family, i really do.

Dan untuk peringatan diri sendiri.. never take your spouse or marriage for granted. (Diri sendiri, please do remember!!)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

New Challenges

Minggu lepas hampir-hampir memblog dari office, tapi tak jadi, sebab rasa macam kekok. Dah lama tak buat la katakan. Oleh yang demikian, i left it at that. Biarkan. Elok jugek. Daripada jadik habit. Heehee.

Today is my second kickboxing day. Boo-yah! Best woo. Minggu lepas, my knuckles were all balck and blue. Minggu ni ok. Tiada kecederaan. Feel great, although dapat training sekali je minggu ni, since the whole week tak dapat sbb MIL masuk hosp. Unfortunately, the doctors couldn't fin anything wrong with her, so it kind of emphasized to her on the presence of 4th dimension creatures doing things to her.. know what i mean? Sigh!~ Susahla. Tak layan salah, layan pun salah. Dilayan sangat, kang jatuh syirik plak.

Anyways.. completed first week of Scarsdale Medical Diet, with a cheat today. Hehe. Gi orang kawen, makan nasik minyak dan lain-lain. Tapi, sikit je. Yeah, no excuse, i know. Takpe.. tomorrow i'll continue with my second week of SMD ye. Nampak macam turun dah sekilo. Hahaha... Apparaaa.. sekilo jek. SMD Review to turun sampai 10 kilo.. in 2 weeks ok. Iskk.. Camno nak dapek result begitu??? Takpe.. slow and steady wins the race.

Last Saturday pulak, first piano lesson!! Yeay! Semenjak aku sekolah rendah aku teringin sangat join kelas piano. Alhamdulillah, after so many years, dapek gak belajar. Last week belajar guna lima jari di tangan kanan, placement jari, baca note... semua in half an hour. Minggu akan datang ni akan belajar guna tangan kiri pulak. My biggest challenge?? Untuk baca itu taugeh (music notes).. haha.. Sebab.. aku buleh gak play by ear sikit2.. so kalau lagu yang aku tau, takut ikut sedap je main, without referring to notes. Cikgu kata takpe.. banyak lagu dalam buku tu aku tak familiar... We'll see about that...

Esok.. huhu.. my second stint as emcee!! Emcee berbahasa omputeh. Hadeyy.. masih bersengkang mata amend text. Gedik buat pagi isnin. Tak sempat aa nak rehearse guna mic. Huhuhu... Harap2 esok oklaaa.. Uwaaa... Wa manyak nerves ok... Wish me luck yah...

Okla.. better go titon... Esok nak bangun awal, mekap santek2... kang tak sempat mekap, dah la muka tak siap je emcee... huhu... Wokay.. gud nite everybody... Hope everybody has had a good weekend as i did. :) Ciao senoritas!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A Few More Days

Well.. 2 more days to be exact. Minggu depan, aku akan mula di tempat baru. Buat masa ini, masih di aras yang sama, tapi blok yang berbeza. Dari Datin E ke Dato' E. Sigh!~ Bersiap sedialah aku jiwa dan raga. Hehehe...

Barang-barang masih belum berkemas. Masih sebagaimana aku baru pindah dari bangunan lama. Hehe.. You know how i hate mengemas. Walaubagaimanapun, azam bila berpindah ke tempat baru, nak stick to the 5S principle kononnya.. (simpan, sorok, selongkar dan yang sewaktu dengannya..)

Nota serah tugas pun belum siap... Huhuhu.. Begitu lah lemaunya keadaanku ini. Haa.. suruh lagi aku extend. Dah sah-sah aku lemau yang bangett..

Other than that, well..boss aku selalu perli-perli aku about me getting the transfer. Sukati dia la. Lagi banyak dia buat macam tu, lagi aku yakin memang dia teraffected dengan keputusan yang aku ambil. And somehow, that made me feel appreciated ^__^. Don't ask me why.

Oh... lupa. Perlu cerita just to keep my motivation high. I have a personal trainer now! Chewah. Been training lebih kurang 3 kali seminggu. Tapi, baru 2 minggu je training. Dayet baru start minggu ni, alternate days, trainer suruh aku try fruit diet. Which i don't really believe tapi just give it a shot la. Elok pun for detox. So, tmrw i'm gonna fill myself with fruits. Training-wise, sekarang dia tengah concentrate on things yang to build and strengthen my leg muscles. A lot of squats and steps and leg press machine. Dia kata aku ada strength, cuma nak ringankan sikit kaki supaya mudah training yang lain nanti. This sunday insyaAllah, he will start me on kickboxing. Woohoo!! Nervous and excited at the same time.

I've also been joining yoga classes at the gym. Bukan yoga yang ada mantra2 tu ye. Yoga untuk kesihatan je. Best gak buat yoga ni. Nampak pergerakan simple, tapi rasa muscle2 yang digunakan, especially the core muscles. I loiiikkkeee the yoga classes so much! Buat yoga yang konon relaxing pun, boleh berpeluh2 sebaldi ok. I pun cam surprised (ketujut kata anak i)..

Oklah... see if i can get closer to my goal of becoming one hot mama! Hehe.. Nity nite peeps!

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Life Is Full of Ups and Downs

Baru-baru ni, aku betul2 merasai kesan dunia itu bulat. Kadang-kadang putaran dunia itu buat kita berada di bawah, dan adakalanya, kita di atas. Namun, the earth tilts at an angle, yang mengingatkan aku fairness tidak berlaku di dunia ini. . Heh. The irony..

Anyways, setelah berminggu (atau mungkin sebenarnya berbulan?) aku rasa sangat tidak seronok dengan how life is going for me, Alhamdulillah, sedikit demi sedikit, bebanan yang pada aku begitu berat dikurangkan satu persatu. Terima kasih kawan2 yang turut sama mendoakan kegumbiraan aku.

Selesai episod minta transfer, Alhamdulillah, minggu lepas lebih berwarna warni, ceria dan gumbira. Permohonan aku pun dah disokong oleh Sec Gen, dan sekarang aku dah dapat posting di tempat baru. Cuma sekarang extended by 2 weeks, untuk settle a few things, dan siapkan nota serah tugas. Nak pack barang lagi. :)

Lagi, minggu lepas ada penyampaian Anugerah Khidmat Cemerlang, dan aku salah seorang penerima. Tapi, tak kira sangat, sebab for last year, division aku nominate ikut undi, macam AF. Hehe. Apapun, aku bersyukur, sekurang-kurangnya ada la jugak rasa dihargai kerja teruk macam beruk itew.

Khamis, aku terpaksa jadi bidan terjun untuk satu seminar. Alhamdulillah, banyak positive feedback, even from the Sec Gen. Siap ada orang datang minta aku buat freelance emcee-ing tak tahan tu. Muehehehee.. Boleh la aku pertimbangkan nanti, bila aku rasa nak kena carik duit lebih untuk sambar beg longchamp / coach yang diidamkan. :D

Dan kejayaan yang paling best untuk aku minggu lepas, kitorang dah dapat tau peruntukan for rolling plan under RMK10. Projek yang aku dan officer lain berhempas pulas buat penilaian, paper proposal dan bentang to central agency, dapat peruntukan yang besar!! Even bigger dari peruntukan for the whole of RMK9! I was like... whoaaaa.. Tak sia2 menunggu sampai malam untuk present masa budget consultation lepas. Tapi kesian kat officer aku nanti. Peruntukan banyak, kerja pun banyak. However, i really, truly hope pengganti aku tu tak amek kesempatan terhadap officer aku yang kebanyakannya masih baru dan green, sebaliknya dapat guide diorang in fulfilling their responsibilities as government officers. Aku tau, aku sendiri pun banyak kekurangan dalam jalankan tugas aku tu, hence my need for a transfer. Sebab tu, aku harap my replacement can do better than me, for the sake of my juniors, and also for the min. la kan...

Having said that, aku bersyukur ada sinar untuk aku buat masa ini. Aku harap sinaran itu lama bersinar, tapi kalau ia mula malap pun, aku akan redha, insyaAllah, dan dalam masa yang sama cuba perbaiki apa yang perlu supaya yang malap dapat dicerahkan semula. Akusebenarnya macam nervous gak nak berhijrah ke tempat baru... Well, a change is always scary kan. Hope i can adapt well soon enough.

Ok kawan2. Sleepy already. Hubby's away on detachment pulak tu. Boring jugak. Til then, have a good night and a good life. :)


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Aidilfitri

Salam Aidilfitri sahabat2. Kepada mereka yang hantar text message ucapan raya, maaf i tak balas mesej uols. Telefon di waktu cuti sudah seperti satu wabak penyakit yang perlu dihindari, sebabnya more often than not, the calls would be from the office, yang akhirnya mengakibatkan aku meluat terus nak pegang atau berdekatan dengan telefon semasa cuti.

Alhamdulillah, raya tahun ni masih bernafas. Pulak tu, diberi cuti seminggu lebih. Syukur. I do need the break. Dan, dalam waktu percutian ini, aku temui semula the joy that i have almost forgotten. The joy of being with the family. Aku dapat luang masa dengan suami, anak, catch up on house work, cleaning up, do things that we like and enjoy. Semua tu dah lama aku tak rasa, sebab utamanya my life had been controlled by my job. It takes so much away from me... my time, my enjoyment, my fulfillment, my LIFE, my happiness... It draining me each day until i become an automated being. Everything runs on automatic. Pagi - bangun - subuh - siap anak - hantar anak - kerja - amek anak - balik rumah - dinner - siap anak - tidur. Day in, day out, everything runs automatically, without any feeling. No enjoyment. Just dread, one day after the other.

Seminggu sebelum bercuti, Allah beri aku kekuatan. Aku jumpa bos, dengan surat minta bertukar di tangan. Aku masuk can kata, "D***, boleh jumpa sekejap?" Dia suruh duduk. Tanpa berlengah dan tanpa mukadimah, aku terus kata, " Saya nak minta transfer. Minta D**** tandatangan." Dia cuma kata ok. Mungkin dia pun terkejut.. atau mungkin dia gembira. I don't know.. and i try not to care. Kemudian dia tandatangan dan minit - Disokong dengan pengganti serentak. Sigh!~

Isnin sebelum mula cuti, aku ke HR. Bawa surat sokongan dan minta tukar. Bos HR kata akan bincang dengan KSU. As of now, belum ada berita. Oh yeah. On the NKEA thing yang aku nak tu. Posts had been filled, dan aku tak terpilih. Bos aku tahan. Tapi, aku jadi wakil bahagian ke Delivery Monitoring Unit tu. A colleague who was also a newbie to the Ministry asked me if i was shocked to have been chosen. I said no, since it's a common practice for the ministry the have the same people in whatever task force it may have come up with.

Rabu, bos dah cuti. Aku ambil kesempatan tu pergi ke JPA. Jumpa pegawai yang in charge jaga perjawatan kami. Kebetulan, dia belum cuti raya. Jumpa, cerita masalah. Dia kata susah kalau tak ada surat. Kalau ada open post, dia akan cuba, atau tunggu keputusan profiling penempatan haritu... Tunggu lagi. Ya, memang aku boleh tunggu. Tapi, dalam masa aku menunggu, aku tak boleh janji prestasi kerja aku akan sama seperti sebelum ini, sebab aku dah tak happy. Apa yang aku boleh janji, aku akan bekerja dari jam 8.30 hingga 5.30. Aku berazam tak nak dan akan kata tak nak pada mereka yang menuntut aku kerja lebih dari itu. For what?? Anugerah Khidmat Cemerlang? Anugerah, kononnya, tapi pada dasarnya diberi ikut rotation... Duh!~

Aku diberikan AKC untuk tahun 2009. Bos ada bagitau, tapi belum dapat lagi. Sebelum raya haritu duit ganjaran AKC dah masuk agaknya, dan aku pinjamkan kepada colleague yang nak pergi trade mission, tak sempat buat pendahuluan diri. Sebelum ni aku kerja keras sbb aku enjoy doing my job. Now, that enjoyment had died a painful death. Kalau orang nak kata lepas ni, aku dah tak kerja keras sebab aku dah dapat AKC.. kata lah. Honestly, sebelum ni memang it matters so much to me that i make a good impression to everybody. Sekarang, lantaklah. I have to remind myself that i am paid to work from 8.30 am to 5.30 pm. After that time, its family time, regardless what other people tells me. Kerja macam nak mampus ke, kerja cukup2 ke, curik tulang ke, you still get the same pay. I don't want to overwork myself. Cukuplah. Bukan aku nak retire JUSA pun. :p

Isnin depan, aku mengharapkan ada sinar baru untuk aku. Kalau berkesempatan jumpa KSU on the matter, aku nak minta transfer ASAP. Kalau tak dapat within the Ministry, aku akan minta dia benarkan aku minta transfer keluar Kementerian. Aku hanya mikrooraganisma di Kementerian tu. Tak jejas pun kalau aku keluar, kan? kan?

Sigh!~ Penat dah mengalirkan air mata. Semoga ada jalan yang lebih baik untuk aku.

P/S: Kerana aku suram akibat kerja, raya aku tahun ini pun agak suram. Sebab tu, aku tak post ucapan raya di facebook atau sms ucapan raya kat kawan2. Sorry. Aku agak lemau tahun ni. Semoga semangat ku dapat dibakar semula, dan tidak lemau lagi di hari2 mendatang. Amiinn!~

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Di Persimpangan

Baru-baru ni aku call kenalan di bhg. servis. Minta jasa baik beliau untuk tolong aku bertukar, kalau boleh tukar kementerian terus. Aku bosan duduk kementerian yang aku rasa tak ada fokus dan halatuju. Jugak bosan dengan bidang tugas yang aku dah hadap over 3 years. Cukuplah. It doesn't excite me anymore. The fact the boss is like a very moody lioness doesn't help either.

Kenalan itu kata, susah, tapi dia akan cuba. However, he didn't sound that convincing.

Honestly, aku sendiri tak sure nak pursue ke tak. Aku takut, pisang berbuah dua kali.

The last time i pursued to get transfered, i got crap. And the last time i pursued to stay in the division, it ended up crappy as well. Thus, i don't know what to ask anymore. Sesungguhnya Allah yang maha mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk hambaNya. Wallahu'alam.

Another option just cropped up. 6 orang akan dipilih sebagai NKEA monitoring team. Sounds very intriguing. Tapi aku takut jugak, kalau volunteer to be part of this team, tak terkejar beban tugas nak monitor 13 projek NKEA under the ministry. But i can sense that it's gonna be exciting. The team head pun seorang yang cool dan boleh beri tunjuk ajar. Tapi entahlah. Should i?

Another option, minta tukar dari HR. Tapi, buat masa ni ada kekosongan di unit parlimen.. which i'm really not interested in.

Sigh!~ Banyak cengkadak kah aku?

I just want to find a job that really allows balance between work and personal life. Bukan work 70%, personal 30%. Kerja dan bos yang boleh hormati yang aku juga ada tanggungjawab kepada family selepas jam 5.30 petang dan pada hujung minggu. Is it too much to ask?

Sometimes it just confuses me. Kerajaan kononnya ada polisi keluarga penyayang la, gaya hidup sihat la.. Kalau kerja habis pun pukul 7, travelling time ke rumah tambah 1 jam lagi, agak-agaknya boleh ke penjawat awam actually implement those policies? Sigh!~ Maybe, dalam lebih sejuta penjawat awam, kurang 10% yang terikat dengan norma kerja yang begitu. To those who chose to be that way, ok la. Bagi orang yang dipaksa macam aku????

Sesungguhnya, aku mengharapkan penyelesaian terbaik dari-Nya jua...

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The End of A WeekEnd

I hate Sundays. Because it's the end of non-working-days weekend. I don't look forward to Mondays. Coz Mondays mean that i need to get my ass to work. Mondays suck because it's a day when we usually have out 'hot potato' session. Read: screwed left, right and centre. I hate my job at the same time i'm (slightly) loving it. I think the weekly screwing up had actually screwed me. I hate my job, and though my brain tries and tries to tell me otherwise, my whole body just refuses to like the job. I just don't have the energy anymore to get crap from work. I need a break. A long freaking break... like a study break. Bad news is... tarikh permohonan dah tutup! Tunggu next April gayaknya... :p

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Entry bengong.. hehe..

Huh.. tiba-tiba rasa rindu sangat2 kat hubby.. Sigh!~

Hehehe... tu la pasal... tadi gatai search ariel cut tari... Wakakakaka...

Now... dah rindu hubby plak... padan muka...

Nasib baik tak makan bidadari... kalau tak, lagi parah...

Hahahaha...

Nak tidurla... sorang-sorang.. huhu... Peluk bantal ajelah adanya... :p

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

No Topic

Hmm.. mungkin aku ni memang seorang yang always sitting inside the box, sebab tu i always kinda need a title for my post... Hmm... how la, to think outside the box?? But then again, it should be easier for you to do that if you've already identified the box, right?

Apa-apa la. Mengarut. Lama tak update. Hectic. darn busy. Work sucks. Boss sucks. What else is new?

Same old, same old.

Diet? Sometimes on, most of the time off. Tapi, tak dapat turun, maintain pun ok la kan. Hating the way my tummy looks. That slimming centre advertisement looks really inviting... Tapi, mengenangkan you have to diet and yet still fork out ribu riban, baik tak payah. But maybe they can really just suck out those stubborn fats.... Hmmm..... wonder how much it cost per session, with this amount of tummy flab... Hukhuk..

Minggu lepas, Sarah warded. High fever. Masa bawa jumpa paed, 40C.. Dr kata better duduk ward, senang monitor and check darah just in case la virus2 merbahaya tu kan. Dengan H1N1 and dengue scare, we agreed. So, empat hari la duduk ward. Tapi dia demam-demam pun, ligat je. Aku masa balik dari hospital haritu, baru demam kura... dah lembik lemau semacam. Nak lagi masa tu hubby ada, lagi la mengada2. Hehehe.. Bila lagi nak bermanja kan?

Aku penat dan letih. Work is burning me out. Huh. Don't have time to have a life. Aku balik 5.30 bos aku kata aku balik awal. Hujung minggu orang enjoy weekend. Aku stress nak menunggu hari isnin. Entahla.. hati aku kata aku tak happy with my job. Otak kata relax la. My body? I dunno. It's giving me mixed signals. Heh. I don't have much option. Nak mintak transfer, sec gen susah nak lepas. Transfer to other division, who knows if it'll be worse than this? Orang kata, better the devil you know, kan? Tapi, entahla.. bila fikir, tu macam kata-kata orang yang tak nak keluar dari comfort zone. Tapi, when you have other people who depends on you (read: your family who truly LOVES you), memang kita akan fikir berkali-kali untuk keluar dari comfort zone, so that orang lain yang depend on us to tak terlibat sama dengan the change, kan? Maybe that's what is stopping my hubby from getting a job elsewhere to. His company ain't doing so great either. Tengah dalam proses winding up. Huh.. Tapi operations masih jalan, for the time being. Apapun, so praying and hoping that he gets a better job somewhere, preferably outside Malaysia, so that i can follow him. CTG mengikut suami berkerja. One of the 2 options that i have to get out of my current rut. Option lagi satu, sambung belajar. Tapi yang tu soonest next year baru bley, sebab aku dah terlepas intake this year. Huhu. Next year, tak akan aku lepaskan! I need to get my ass out of my current workplace soon!

Kadang-kadang terfikir pulak. Apesal la aku jadik PTD? Kalau jadik engineer kan bagus? Kerja 5 years, mesti dah level senior engineer, gaji jauh la lebih dari sekarang. Kerja tentu la teruk, tapi sekarang pun keje teruk gak. Mana ada masuk 8.30, balik 5.30, pagi tea break, petang tea break. Nak gi toilet pun berkira, sempat tak siapkan kerja, boleh? Gaji kalau nak banding dengan senior engineer?? Huuhhh... tak hengat. Work load aku rasa Kerajaan pun work load teruk. Sigh!~ Tak guna mengenang barang yang lepas... Uwaaa... Takpe. Ada hikmahnya..*memujuk hati*

Dah pukul sepuluh rupanya. Daripada aku menghadap pc, baikla aku gi tidur. Kepala pun sakit. Cerita lak pasal kerja, hati pun sakit.

Sigh!~ Sorry kawan-kawan. Tak sempat chat/berbalas emel. Series, tak sempat. Huhu. Rindu kat korang sumer... Huhuhu..Apa pun, take care ya!

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Long Overdue Update

Huh..kalau pregnant dah kena induce ni.Loooonggg overdue.

Macam-macam nak cerita, tapi macam takde idea. Lagipun busy.. sangat busy. Penat la. Sigh!~

Anakku the smart mouth. Satu hari dia manipulate tok maknya untuk shampoo rambut dia dengan berkata, "Daddy said my hair smells bad." Padahal hubby tak kata apa pun.

Tadi, dia sound aku pulak. Aku tanya dia nak dinner apa, roti ke nasi. Dia kata roti. Aku pun prepare la peanut butter and banana sandwich kat dia. Dah buat, dia takmo pulak. Hangin la aku. Aku paksa dia makan separuh. Dia buat makan slow2. Aku marah la. Kata kat dia, "You better eat your food properly." Boleh plak dia jawab kat aku, "But i have no choice..." Urrgghhh.. that little smart mouth. Geram aku....

I'd been quite elated the past few days. Very busy, but elated. Started over the weekend, dapat carik senior yang sangat ingin dijumpai semula after all these years. Hmm.. fikir2 balik, it's been 10 years now ek.. Patut la dia dah kembang secara horizontal. Wahahahaw.. pandai je cakap orang. Whatever it is, finding him on fb gave me this good feeling. Teringat kembali jaman dolu-dolu di kala aku terkena bola yang diorang tengah main masa lalu tepi padang Lembaran.. pastu dia susah payah tolong ajar kitorang Teknologi Elektrik anytime we requested, dengan alunan lagu Hindi.. Hehehe.. I'd always wanted to find him, sebab kadang2 aku rasa guilty sbb dia pernah call aku sekali dulu, and i said i'll call back or something, tapi i didn't. Huh. Bersalah sampai sekarang. Agaknya masa tu dia nak invite aku gi kenduri kawen dia kot. Huh.. Lagi la rasa bersalah. Whatever la. Janji aku dah jumpa dia. :)

At work.. Hmm.. busy, busy, busy... What's new? Next week kena gi Jakarta. No more taking my hubs n dotter along. Kesian diorang. Lepas tu promo events bertimpa2. Letih wey. Malas la nak cerita pasal kerja.

Itu je la buat masa ni. Nak tukar layout blog ni. Tapi, dah lama tak buat, dah tak berapa pandai pulak. Huhu... Tunggu la, nak kena gi menuntut ilmu dolu.

Have a pleasnt evening. Daaaa!

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Mother's Day

Salam Hari Ibu to all you hot mamas out there!! It's not always easy, but motherhood is so wonderful and rewarding, kan?

Nothing much to say. Had a rather disturbing dream last night. It was disturbing because it was so vivid, it almost seemed real. Thank God it wasn't real though.

Life had been a mixture of okays and not so okays, well, that's life, isn't it?

We're still in a berubat mode. The 'sickness' that MIL encounters come and go, so, i dunno. I'm not a big believer in this bomoh2 thingy anyway. Apa pun, we need to usaha kan? And i can't force my believes onto others, as others can't unto me. So, we all do what we think is best for the situation.

Apa yang aku buat, selain amalan yang guru ajar, tengah jugak nak menghafal manzil, untuk jauhkan diri dana keluarga daripada sihir.

MIL kata semua orang yg dia tanya kata ada dua orang pelaku yang terlibat. Sorang jiran, sorang ahli keluarga. Dua-dua sebab dengki dan iri hati. Wallahualam. Macam tu la kot kalau orang tak faham erti rezeki dan redha.

Apapun, i hope all will end well, and keluarga kami terpelihara dari angkara dan hasad dengki manusia dan syaitan....Amin!~

Ok.. on a happier note.. rasa macam nak bawak sarah pergi Disneyland la... Paling dekat Hong Kong, lagi best kalau gi Tokyo.. lebih best kalau gi Paris... Haha.. kumpul duit dari sekarang.

Ok mommies, have a great day. :)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Susah Hati

Last night, jumpa wak yang bantu PILs ubat/halau benda2 halus yang dihantar oleh orang lain untuk ganggu hidup mereka dan keluarga mereka. Dengar macam drama je kan, tapi ini betul-betul kejadian.... All becuase of envy. Ngok betul.

And, because those people tuju kat MIL and their family. Siapa pun yang ada pertalian darah, akan kena. So we found out last night, when we met the wak. Dia bagi gambaran mana yang ditujua, kat bahagian mana. Cara dia buat, dia bagi orang yang terlibat pegang paper, pastu dia baca2 sikit, pastu dia hisap rokok, and tabur abu rokok tu atas paper tadi, pastu dia sapu. Mula-mula dia buat kat hubby. Lepas sapu2 tu, keluar imej orang (muka, badan, kaki, tapi takdela mata hidung mulut semua tu.. bukan karikatur ye..) Pastu ada pangkah kat kepala and bahagian perut. Mungkin kebetulan, hubby had started having headaches and tummy aches a couple of days ago, yang jugak merupakan hari PILs mula berubat untuk membuang benda-benda.

One thing about me, seperti yang ustaz dah ajar, makhluk tak berupaya nak buat apa-apa, kecuali dengan kuasa Allah. So, bila aku tengok benda tu, aku ada jugak rasa macam skeptical, maybe wak ni lukis sendiri la apa ke, walaupun aku tengok dia sapu2 je benda tu. Pastu, maybe, sensing my skepticism, he asked me to sapu the abu on my paper. Huk.. Aku pun excited la sapu menyapu. Huk aloh.. kuar gak imej orang.. tapi kali ni, takde pangkah2. Aku kosong katanya. Tak ada apa2 yang kena pada aku, yang aku fikirkan, my two loved ones aje.

Lepas tu, kitorang tanya2 jugak, if our little girl pun kena. Mula2 wak tu quite hesitant nak buatkan. I dunno why. Maybe he's concerned on my hubby's reaction towards the result or something, sebab sebelum mula dia tengokkan my hubs pun dia dah ckp kat hubby, awak ni baran (teringat kat arwah baba and nura..hehe). Then, bila mak minta untuk dia tengokkan jugak the little girl, he did, and guess what, instead of ada cross, ada satu tanda macam calit kat perut the imej orang, and satu ketulan hitam sebelah kepala, kat luar imej orang tu. Dia pun tak tau apa benda hitam tu. Dia kata, our baby tak kena lagi, tapi orang tu dah mark. Maybe benda hitam tu dia nak bagi something to disturb our baby's mental health or somethinglike that.

We're soo disturbed and upset on this finding. Macam mana ek. Aku tau, semua benda tu datang dari Allah, dan aku percaya makhluk memang tak boleh baut apa pun kepada makhluk lain, unless Allah perkenan. Tapi, it sickens me to the bone to know that orang will go out of their way to hurt others, apatah lagi budak kecik yang tak tau apa-apa, just because of their jealousy. Mak tanya wak, kenapa orang tu nak buat our little girl. Wak kata, dia bijak sangat. I was like.. duh!~ faham tak apa tu rezeki dan nikmat? Faham tak semua benda tu datang dari Allah, bukan kehendak manusia. And, faham tak that you cannot play God??? Bodoh la.

Sigh!~ Harini kepala aku runsing, aku sedih. Tak ada parents dalam dunia ni nak apa-apa yang tak baik jadi kat anak dia kan? Despite knowing that nothing can happen to her unless it's God's willing, it saddens and worries me that someone would want to hurt our little daughter yang tak buat salah pun kat diorang tu. Jumpa pun tak pernah. Sigh~ Wallahualam.

*Berdoa dan bergantung hati pada Allah semoga semuanya baik-baik belaka*

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Silver Lining

Apesal ntah.. Harini my language sucks. Sepatutnya, tajuk nak letak word ni.. tapi aku takleh recall apakah word tu. Ala word dalam frasa, "Ada ... di sebaliknya." Bukan ada udang di sebalik batu tu.. iskk.. takleh pikir.. ah.. Lantakla..

Anyways.. with regards to the previous post. Alhamdulillah, PILs dah buat treatment, on themselves, on the maid and on the current house. After this, they're going to move out of that house and sell the house off. They're going to rent a place somewhere closer to our place (like just across the jalan from us, hehe). Kira ermm.. taman lain la, tapi masih dalam BK 9... Syok juga. Bakkata hubby, malam2, pergi sana.. "mak, what's for dinner???" Hehe.. Hampeh punya anak menantu. Hihihi.. Themaid is also moving to Puchong area. Alhamdulillah, dekat sikit nak ambek dia cuci rumah wiken2. Yeay! So, all in all, ada baik yang datang di sebalik kejahatan orang lain itew.

Last week, MIL showed an image of benda yang kacau diorang tu. Orang yang datang mengubat tu guna abu rokok. Image yang keluar, ada rambut kusut2, satu mata, taring panjang... pastu imej lagi satu ada ular belit in MIL's tummy and neck. Memang selama ni MIL selalu sakit perut. Wallahualam.

PILs are moving out tomorrow. Using movers. Tak semua perabot pun bawak keluar. Kind of excited that they're moving. Lepas ni, bila almaz balik pun, dekat sikit, anytime bawak sarah jumpa her cuz. :)

As of pendengki2 di sana tu. To hell dengan pendengkian mereka. Hiduplah diorang dalam kedengkian.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Pelik

Satu benda yang sentiasa mendatangkan kepelikan pada aku. Kenapa orang mendengki, sedangkan orang yang di dengki tu tak kacau pun hidup orang yang mendengki. I mean, i understand envy and jealousy. Kalau tak lalu cemburu, tak nama manusia. But, to act on your envy and jealousy with the intention to cause harm to the people that you envy, it's just plain vicious and mind-boggling.

Hubby told me that someone is envious of our family (hubby's side, from parents-in-law down to us) and that someone is using some sort of black magic to tear our family apart. Problem is, aki tak tau apa masalah dia dengan kitorang. Menurut sumber yang MIL pergi berubat, they envied that we're always happy and seem to be doing well. Dey.. orang gila pun tak happy all the time ok? Setiap orang ada ups and downs. Just because you don;t see people sulking in their worries and woes, doesn't mean that they don't experience it. Lagipun, if we're happy, apa masalah diorang. We choose to be happy. If they choose to be unhappy, heck, that's not our problem. Dia yang choose nak sakit hati kat orang, macam mana nak happy?

Hubby and MIL especially are quite disturbed on this matter coz they worry a lot. Aku, aku percaya benda2 ni berlaku, cuma i believe that if anything should happen, it's not because diorang yang dengki tu yang buat, sebab diorang pun manusia macam aku jugak, bukannya Tuhan. Tiada daya upaya melainkan dari Dia.

The funny part is... konon2 pergi sembahyang, tutup aurat semua, tapi minta kepada selain Allah. Seriously, how hypocrite can one be? Pastu, hati busuk nak dengki2 kat orang. What the hell?? I can't help it if you want to be pathetic, can i? Blardy idiots.

Monday, April 12, 2010

..crap..

Semalam pergi dinner, with in laws, kat pjaya..Kereta lain2,in laws kereta diorang, kitorg kereta sendiri. In laws sampai awal dr kitorg kat situ. Bila kitorg nk g park kereta, pass by kereta in laws, FIL park kereta senget sket, so hubby made a remark; dia kata "bapak park kereta macam crap." So takpe, it ended there.

When we were having dinner, tiba2 anak aku cakap,"Tok Bapak, daddy said you parked you car like crap!" Hahaha.. Ingat pulak dia nak mengadu kat tok bapak dia..sigh. Sabar je la anakku itew..

Macam-macam..

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Light at the end of a week of misery

Today was such an eventful day. Alhamdulillah. Something to lift up my spirits after such a misery-filled week.

Last week, got home late from work 4 out of 5 days. If i was getting paid like you people in the private sector, maybe i won't complaint much. But, seriously, i don't think i'm paid enough to take this crap. I had to take my daughter to the office, get out of office at around 8, feed her takeouts (READ: junk! and i bloody hate it!), put her to bed later than her bed time (nearly 10pm when her bedtime's supposed to be before 9.30) and wake her up as usual (6.45am) the next morning. If i'm not married yet, i probably won't mind staying late at the office, but now, i've other commitments, i can't afford to go back late. What more with my husband being away, and i'm without a maid, i really can't handle it and it stresses me out so much!

My boss is good at her job. She's resourceful and guides. But, she also shouts a lot, impatient and will shout at you in meetings! She also expects everybody to be a workaholic like her (yes, that's what i think she is, a workaholic). We get off for lunch at around 1.20 pm (at least for me), and finish by 2. She tells me that i go back early when i get back at 5.30 pm. Like duh!~ It stresses me out because it doesn't just affect me, it affects my little girl as well. And i truly farking hate it! What makes it worse, i can't muster up the courage to actually confront her and talk about it. Last time she yelled at one of the office boys for not waiting up until she finishes a meeting (the meeting ended way after office hours). That office boy had to pick up the kids from school etc. The way she said it was like, she don't wanna know about his problems, he's gotta find a way around it. That incident heightens my hesitation to confront her. But last week, i really broke down. Hubby's away, i had no one to talk to (no, i don't feel comfortable discussing my woes with colleagues, and i hardly have any friends here, in my hometown. pathetic, i know). So yeah, it was one hell of a week, literally.

So today, i woke up early, sarah was up early and we went to putrajaya yet again, to go and see the hot air balloons. There's this hot air balloon carnival going on since thursday. The fancy hot air balloons shaped in darth vader, a pair of jeans and other interesting stuffs are only up really early in the morning, when the air is cool. After 9, only the smaller, basic hot air balloons operates, and yes, you can have a ride in it for 10 bucks a ride. But, when i got there at 8.45, the parking was scarce, and the the tickets for the morning session had sold out.

Anyways, we strolled along the lake banks and enjoyed the view of floating hot air balloons. We did get close to the field where the hot air balloons were. Yang kelakarnya, i asked this guy with a fancy camera to take a photo of me and sarah with the balloons in the background. Mamat tu boleh tak reti amek gambar pakai phone camera?? ye lah, dia dah biasa pakai camera canggih. Huhu. Dok dia fumbling with my camera phone, his other photographer buddies came by and shot our photos with their cameras. Rasa macam selebriti pulak sekajap. tiba-tiba ramaipulak photographer amek gambar i kan. Hehe. Anak i lagi la celeb. Ada aje orang nak amek gambar dia, walaupun comot. Huhu..

We left around 11, lepak pulak at the boat club. Terserempak pulak with my sec gen and his wife. He went in to have his brunch kot, and i just spent some time alone with my kiddo, making up for lost time over the week, and after a while she said that she was hungry and wanted to eat. Mula2, aku nak tunggu in laws yang tengah attend club's AGM kat situ. Dah anak aku bising duduk makan, aku masuk la cafe club tu, ordered drinks je dulu. My sec gen, when he was paying for his meal, paid for our drinks as well. Isk.. malu sikit2, tapi macam best jugak. Hahaha...

After mak n bapak habis AGM, we joined then upstairs where they served lunch for the AGM's attendees. Tan Sri Sam pun ada, club president kan. Apparently dia super junior bapak kat rmc dulu. Before dia balik dia dukung sarah. Sarah punya la jerit, padahal masa duduk lunch tu, dia la paling bising kat situ. Penat suruh dia speak softly.

Itu la dia, post panjang tentang hari ini. Not that i have much time to post anymore la kan. Ok.. must get back to work. Have an emcee text to finish. Ada event selasa ni. Aku la planner, aku la floor manager, aku la emcee, aku la penceramah... ye.. aku sorang je makhluk kat bahagian tu (padahal, bukan unit aku punya kerja pun patutnya).... sigh!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Little Hopes

Hmmm.. dalam keadaan aku sekarang, i look forward to even the smallest things that can give some kind of hope of cheering me up, even if just a little tiny bit.

Last weekend, jumpa seorang yang gladly nak give me and MIL piano lessons. The way he describes it, more pratical than theory. Which is good, considering i know almost peanuts about music notes. His approach, bukan untuk pergi exam, but to perform. Exactly my goal. He's gonna call back as soon as he can squeeze in some time in his schedule to tutor us. A tiny streak of happiness for me. :)

Tadi, i finally popped into GNC and purchased a halal certified protein shake, and became GNC member. No, i'm not going to replace all my meals with the shake. It's for those night when i don't have the time to cook anything. I've always wanted to get a protein shake, tapi takut tak halal kalau guna yang whey based shakes. So, i finally got my hands on a veggie based protein shake. Now, the next challenge is to actually consume it. Hah!

Two weekends ago, got invited to this birthday party. The area was strictly guarded, and the neighbourhood's so serene, me and hubby loved it so much. Hmm.. mahal la tapi kalau nak beli rumah kat situ. Monthly maintenance fee pun 300, tapi worth it kot, considering they get good guards. Satu lagi yang tak best, lease hold. Hmmmm... Tapi, kalau that area can develop to be next bangsar ke, people doesn't mind kalau lease hold pun. How much? The lowest 700k. Hmm.. sah aku tak mampu. Sigh!~ Drool je la. Rumah yang aku berkenan kat situ, 1.2m. Memang best la, 2.5 storey, outdoor shower, lap pool. Memang perhhhhh... kalau banyak duit, memang aku punya la sebijik. Masalahnya duit takde kan? So, berangan je la.

Okla.. gotta continue with work, on a sunday night. Black, terrifying monday tomorrow. *Long sigh*

Saturday, March 13, 2010

STRESS!!!!!!

My job is driving me up the wall!!... at the same time, it gives me some kind of fulfillment..sometimes. Most of the time it's just plain stressful!!

Entah. AKu pun tak tau, aku lebih stress sebab kerja atau aku stress sebab aku tak ada siapa yang ada untuk dengar cerita aku. Huhu. Pathetic sungguh. Entah la. Susah. Colleagues are colleagues. However close you are with them, they are just not your friends. Well, at least that applies for me. We can share certain things, but they're not the kind of people that you can really open up to. One can't be too cautious.

Kenapa yang aku jadik stress sangat? Sigh. Aku banyak kerja sangat, sampai pergi toilet pun tergesa-gesa! Bukan sekali-sekala. Boleh dikatakan hari-hari. Dulu, i can manage to go back paling lewat pun 5.45. Sekarang, aku kena give up masuk pukul 8, sebab nak siap2 anak aku kat rumah dulu. Aku masuk 8.30, tapi biasanya sebelum 8.05 aku dah sampai ofis. BY 8.30 kerjaaaaaaa sampai balik. Lunch break 1.30 sampai pukul 2. Apesal aku bz sangat, sedangkan sorang lagi kpp relaks je? Balik on time? Just because aku jaga pembangunan, semua benda aku? I know life is not fair. But this is just plain crap.

Apa yang lebih menambahkan stress aku, bos aku sorang yg memilih untuk mengajar subordinates dia the hard way. By that, i mean by marah2, tengking2, nag, tinggi suara dan segala beda yang sewaktu dengannya. I mean, here i am doing the best i can, balik rumah pun sambung kerja sampai midnight, nak jerit2 gak lagi. Aku tension. It's not that i'm not trying. I am. In fact, i think i'm trying harder than some other people in the office. Tak boleh ke dia at least cut me some slack? I've got a lot on my plate. Segala benda aku. Aku tak sure la whether aku yang tak reti delegate kerja ke or apa. Bila aku suruh subordinate aku buat benda, dia kata aku pass down things to my officers. Sampaikan ppt presentation pun aku kena buat, speech pun aku. Masa aku 41 n 44 pun, aku jugak yang buat. Aku jadi tension sebab she expects me to do everything. I'm not expecting to boss around people. Tapi, i do expect to delegate some things down to my subs.

Pastu, konon tak bagi aku balik awal. Awal hangguk dia. Aku balik paling awal pun 5.45. Kalau aku kuar pukul 3 ke pukul 4, boleh la kata awal. Dia expect aku stay back macam aku ni anak dara. Konon masa meeting, cakap, you don't have to show me that you're doing work by staying back. Poodah. So, aku amek anak aku, bawak datang ofis. Balik pukul 7. Balik rumah gocoh2 nak siapkan anak, dinner lagi. Nak bagi anak tidur by 9.30. Lepas tu sambung kerja lagi. The next day, more and more crap.

Aku tak nafi, my boss is good at doing her job. Tapi, as human, i can only take so much before i breakdown. Dia bagi tau orang konon i'm a good officer. Yes, i think i deserve that, tapi i can't take much any longer. If she keeps demotivating people, sooner or later, people WILL get demotivated and her shoutings won't mean a thing anymore.

My strength and patience is waning day by day. Aku harap Dan cepat2 dapat kerja di Qatar so that aku boleh ikut dia ke sana. If he decides not to leave, aku nak cuti belajar.. Sementara tu, entah berapa lama lagi aku boleh bertahan macam ni.

Off, doing work.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Lonely

Sigh. Lonely pulak rasa. Sarah dah tidur. Hubby's at work. Hmmm.. nanti hubby pergi detachment laaagiii lonely. Lebih terasa semenjak tak ada maid. Hate this feeling.

Work had been ermm.. entahla. Susah nak describe. Momentum memang ada. With the new boss, it's always full speed ahead.. sampai kita yang rasa tak terikut. Letih gak. Nak mintak tukar, sayang kerja sekarang. Rasa ada fulfillment. Tapi kadang-kadang, bila boss hangin satu badan, tu yang tak larat nak layan tu.

Tadi ada meeting. Sec Gen chair. Timbul cerita prosedur yang dulu dijalankan oleh kementerian yang dah bubar tu. Directly Sec. Gen. tengok kat aku, mintak explanation. Aku explain setakat aku tahu je la, selepas aku start servis. pastu semua orang dalam mesyuarat tu tengok aku macam nak telan. Adey. I only worked there tau. It's not like i make the decisions that it had to be that way. Nasib baik Sec. Gen. cakap, it's not the officers' fault. It's the management. Entahlah. There are always many different views towards things.

Tensen sikit2, aku sms kat senior aku dalam mtg tu jugak, kata kat dia, semua orang tengok aku macam nak makan. Dia reply, "Diorang tengok you macam sedap kot?" Heh. Hampeh.

Esok, nak bawa Sarah pergi jemputan birthday party kawan sekolah dia. Sabtu, kena ke Batu Pahat, rombongan meminang untuk adik den. Di antaranya, kena basuh baju, lipat baju, iron baju, mop lantai, basuh toilet, siram pokok, masak, amek gambar saiz pasport Sarah untuk sekolah, pinda dokumen from work, buat paper untuk bajet 2011, check status permohonan rmk10.... Isnin ni nak kena grill lagi. Aduh. Penat la.

I need to wind down. Jom, karaoke?

Apapun, salam maulidur rasul. Selawat dan salam atas junjungan besar kita. :)

Monday, February 22, 2010

My Princess Is Three!

Waktu ini, tiga tahun yang lalu.. agaknya aku tengah meneran kot, dengan gynae baru lari-lari masuk delivery suite tu, dari satu C-section di operating theatre...

Pukul 11.33 pagi... keluar la seorang baby girl yang kami dah cadang namanya nak letak Sarah Aiesha. Masa tu dia overdue 13 hari, kulit semua menggelupas. Bulu halus banyak sangat kat bahu, belakang. Pastu mata kecik je, bila pakaikan baby cap tu, nampak macam anak Eskimo. Masuk dalam nursery, malam-malam dok hisap jari, sebab lapar... tapi tak nangis. Pagi pukul 5 baru nurse tolak masuk suruh mummy nurse dia. Hehe.

Hmm.. rindunya ada baby... :)

Sekarang, three years after, my little baby have grown into such an adorable princess (at times) not to mention a very emotional and full of drama toddler.

We had a little birthday party among family members and cousins for her yesterday. The sweetest thing happened when she came to me and her daddy and said, "I love my party. Thank you mommy and daddy." Awww... she's so grown up now! Terus lupa all the tantrums that we had to put up with before. She can really be an angel at times. So proud of her.

Today marks your third birthday little sayang-girl. Mommy and daddy are extremely proud of you. We pray everyday that life will treat you well, and we try our very best to give you the best that we can offer. May you grow up to be a good Muslim, a pleasant being and live a blissful and meaningful life, blessed by the Almighty. Amin, ya rabbal alamin.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Smart Mouth

Dah lama aku nak masuk entry ni, tapi tak berkesempatan. Hiruk pikuk di tempat kerja. Series banyak kerja. Toilet break pun sempat pergi dua kali je sehari dalam time office. Lunch break setengah jam (kalau bernasib baik). Hai... dah macam keje swasta dah ni. Tapi, ada rasa fulfillment la, sebab terasa full 8 hours kerja. Hehe..Sampai fb ke, blogging pun tak sempat.

Ke lain pulak perginya mukadimah.

Yang sebenarnya, entry kali ini nak compilekan saat-saat smart mouth anak daraku itew, sebelum aku terlupa. Isk.. cik adik tu, kadang-kadang tak terlawan dah cakap dia. Jangan besar nanti jadi lawyer sudah la ye..


1. Kes Pertama

Masa kat Doha, tengah dinner. Dia duk cakap sambil makan, dia baru belajar about man and woman, so dia cakapla, Daddy's a man, Mommy's a woman. Pastu, Tok Mak dia tanya, "How about me?" Dia kata, Tok Mak's an old woman. hehe..

Pastu, aunty dia tegur la, kata kat dia, "It's nicer if you say - you're an old lady".

Dia boleh jawab apa tau? Dia kata "No, I'm a little girl." Like.. duh!~ Sabar ajela adanya...


2. Kes Kedua

Ada satu hari, masa makan tengah hari. Dia minta dessert kot, so aku bagi dia chocolate sikit, kalau tak silap.

Bila yang sikit tu dah habis, dia nak lagi. Aku kata kat dia, "No, one only." Dia balas balik, "Two only mom..." Isk budak ni...

Aku kata kat dia,"You cannot have too much chocolate. If you do, you'll grow big like a giant, and you won't fit into the house anymore!" Konon-konon nak takutkan dia la. Selambak je dia jawab kat aku, " Then you'll have to build a bigger house for me." I was like.... eh-eh budak ni...


Setakat ni, itu je la pulak yang aku ingat. Hmmm.. Dah mengantuk kot? Takpela. Lain kali bila aku ingat aku buat entry lagi. Supaya, aku boleh kenang sambil senyum-senyum, nanti bila aku tengok balik entry aku masa Sarah dah besar, dah sekolah, nak sambung belajar dan duduk jauh dari aku n hubby. Sedih pulak rasa. Mesti sedar tak sedar, tiba-tiba sampai je masa tu.. Sigh!~ (Btw, she'll be 3 in 10 days!!)

You mean the world to me Sarah. I know i might not be the best mom in the whole world, but do know that you're one of the best things that had ever happened for mommy and daddy. You'll always be my little baby, sayang-girl. Mommy loves you so very much!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Piring orang sebelah

Jiran sebelah aku Chinese. Dia rajin bagi makanan kat kitorang. Makanan yang kita boleh makan la, dessert biasanya. Dulu, masa first time kitorang punya community buat potluck, dia buat dessert, some sort of air macam lai chee kang la, campur macam-macam. Aku cakap kat dia, sedap, lepas tu, everytime dia buat, dia musti kirim kat aku. Dan, everytime dia hantar kat aku, kena la aku fikir apa pulak nak balas, kan?

Sebulan yang lepas, dia bagi kuih, sort of bingka. Sedap jugek. Masalahnya, sampai hari ni piring dia ada kat aku lagi. Huhu.. Malu gak sikit-sikit. Tak tau nak masak apa untuk pulangkan piring itew. Malas pun ada jugak. Huh. Nak buat cream puff haritu, tapi sampai la tak berbuat-buat lagi. Sigh!~ Apa aa nak masak??

Uh.. tadi neighbour depan call. Dia maklumkan ada break in kat umah lorong belakang aku semalam. Awal malam pulak tu. Aduhh.. panic gak aku, since aku berdua je dgn sarah kat rumah sekarang. Dan detachment. Maid dah hantar balik. Huhu. Nasib baik mak ada relatives kat PDRM. They're going to make patrols around our area. Selamatkanlah kami Ya Allah. Sigh!~ Kenapa la orang jahat-jahat sekarang??

Huh.. putus dah idea nak blogging. Runsing kepalo den. Apa pun, kawam-kawan, please be safe ok? Praying for our safety. Take care. good night.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Huru Hara

Tengah tengok Nigella Bites. Mungkin ni episod di awal kemunculan Nigella Lawson di kaca tv. Kurus!! Huh.

No.. bukan itu yang huru-hara.

Aku yang huru-hara. Haiyooo...

Mula tahun baru, seperti yang dikatakan oleh bos baruku itew, gerak full force. Tiap-taip hari, sampai pukul 1.30 pun aku masih bekerja (beRkerja ke bekerja??). Tak sempat i nak pergi gym tau. Pukul 2 lebih baru lunch. Tu pun break dalah 20 minit je. Huh. Rasa dah macam keje private dah nih. Gaji je tak macam private. Huhu. Balik lewat gak. Last Tuesday, balik pukul 10.15.. malam ye, bukan pagi. Rabu, pukul 6.00.., Khamis, pukul 7.00... lotih mak!

Dua minggu sudah, aku terpaksa dan dipaksa join retreat kat PD. Half of me felt quite proud, sebab konon-kononnya group tu selected people, handpicked by Sec-Gen. Tapi, aku bukanla kes selected tu, sebab sec-gen bukan kenal aku punnn... aku kena pilih oleh bos baru aku, atas dasar dia baru dan aku jaga Pembangunan, so dia bawak la aku.. Huhu... Habis 6 hari di bulan Januari, away from my family.

Last week, masuk office. Pindah pejabat pulak. Dari bangunan lama, ke bangunan kem. baru kami. Pejabat sementara. Bulan 10 ni pindah lagi. Ofis nomad. Haha. Penat la. Bos baru ni, kadang-kadang menyakitkan hati jugek. Tapi, dia bagus la buat kerja. Cuma kadang-kadang jeritan dia tu je yang menyenakkan kepala otak aku (dan colleagues yang lain). Tapi,memang awal2 dulu dia dah cakap.. suara dia memang kuat. Huh. She's right about that! Dah la ofis sementara ni sangat open. Kalau kena marah dalam bilik or dalam mesyuarat, memang kaw-kaw la.. Semua orang tau.. Huhu...

Sangat bizi. Birthday sarah pun tak sempat lagi nak plan. Apesal aku bizi ntah. Dulu bos-bos aku rilek je. Iskk...

Semalam pulak, hantar maid balik. Alhamdulillah. Tak ada dah masalah dengan maid. Hehe. We caught her by surprise. Hari nak hantar tu, pagi tu jugak bagitau. Dia nak balik tu nangis-nangis. Tak tau la crocodile tears ke, ikhlas ke. Entah. Tak nak tau. Kadang-kadang, bila ikir aku cam kesian gak kat dia. Nanti dia takde keje camne kan. Tapi.. entahlah. I guess, we've had enough of her crap.

Oleh yang demikian, pagi tadi aku terpaksa bangun awal dan berkerja keras. Esok, lagi sekali. Ini akan membuatkan my weekends will become very precious. Semua benda nak dibuat masa weekend. Tak nak kemana-mana. :)

Harini, hubby pulak pergi detachment dua minggu ke Manila. So now, i feel so lonely. Sigh!~... Bestnya kalau gi karaoke. Hahahahaha.. Mengarut aku ni.

Okla.. nak basuh PB... pastu solat.. pastu off to bed. Nite2 people. Semoga minggu depan relax sikit. Sigh!~

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Opening

Hmm, setelah hampir seminggu masuk ke tahun baru, barulah ada kesempatan nak update blog ini. :) *Ayat skema*

Adey... brain freeze pulak. Tadi beriya-iya, selagi ada benda nak post. Bukak je page ni hilang segala idea. Sigh!~

Adik aku nak bertunang.. (again!). Orang jauh jugak. Segamat. Dia plan nak bertunang bulan depan. Isk.. sibuk bulan depan ni. Dengan kerja lagi, birthday anak lagi, dia nak bertunang pulak... Huhu.. Takpelah. Rezeki dia dah tiba agaknya. Walaupun dalam hati aku ni risau, ye lah, adik kita kan... Kita membesar sama-sama dengan dia, sampai bila-bila pun kita akan rasa dia macam budak-budak. Ye lah, adik. Sama la macam anak kita. No matter how old he/she gonna get, they will always be our babies, betul tak? Tapi, he will have to move on with his life. Aku tau, dia budak baik. Tak ada la merempit2 semua tu. Hisap rokok pun tak. aku tau, dia seorang yang bertanggungjawab. Cuma, aku just risau je la. Sebab dia adik aku.. heheh.. apa la yang aku mengarut.

Kisah kedua, pasal maid (lagi!). Tak habis-habis. Remember the story about my maid, B and the linkage with my MIL's maid, T?Ok.. last weekend, we spent some time with MIL on her birthday. MIL pun bukak la cerita, masa kitroang pergi CH for the wedding, T got a call from a male yang tak dikenali. Bila T tanya, siapa yang bagi nombor phone T tu kat dia; dia kata, B guna phone dia untuk call number T. Wahhh.. melompat la aku!! Kalau maid aku guna phone lelaki mana ntah untuk call T, ada 2 kemungkinan je. Either dia keluar pergi mana entah masa aku takde, or worse, dia bawak jantan tu masuk rumah. Perhhh.. penas gila hati. Pulak tu, T pernah dengar dia bagi instruction untuk ke rumah aku over the phone kat sapa entah. So, we're quite worried on our safety la kan. Ye la, macam-macam cerita dah keluar about maids ni. Haritu siap ada maid bunuh tuan pun ada kan, so of course we're worried.

Minggu yang sama tu jugak, maid aku mintak untuk transfer rm1.4 k balik rumah dia. Mula-mula mintak kat hasben aku. Terus hasben aku kata tak boleh. Esoknya, B call aku kat ofis, nangis-nangis. Dia kata bapak dia sakit, nak pakai duit tu. Masa dia cakap kat hasben aku, Dan cakap dia rilek je. Me being a person who takes things at face value, aku pun rasa simpati la kat B. Masih la ada rasa simpati walaupun hati aku ni menyimpah segala kemenyampahan kat dia. The last weekend, kitorang kira-kira balik gaji dia and how much dia dah pakai. Rupanya, kitorang dah overpay dia by about 600+, and dia dah guna more than half her gaji. Kalau ikut agreement, dia boleh hantar half je gaji dia balik. So, hubby bagitau dia, dia takleh dah hantar duit. Dia dah hantar berpa banyak (sambil bagi dia list gaji dan penggunaan gaji). Siap tanya kamu nak calculator? Dia kata tak. So, nampak macam dia dah tau, memang tak boleh sebenarnya, and dia sedar we have overpaid her, tapi saja, nak push her luck.

So, atas sebab-sebab itu, we've had it. We've had enough of her crap. Tak dinafikan, our lives is made easier by her presence, but at a cost! So, kitorang dah call balik agent, untuk hantar dia balik ASAP. Agen cakap, since he's still holding her passport, dia akan urus dan boleh hantar dia terus balik this weekend. We're keeping mum on this matter. We'll only tell her when the agent comes and asks her to pack her stuffs.

Aku terfikir jugak, kesian pulak dia nanti tak ada kerja. But then, she brought all these on herself! we treated her nicely, gave her good food, pakaian dia semua, tak ada maki-maki dia and this is the way she treats us. So, she can go to hell. She can pack her bacgs and leave. After all, dia memang tak nak kerja dengan aku dah kan. She did mention about fleeing in february or something, under the disguise of balik kampung sebab perbicaraan kan? there you go. We're going to send you home so taht you can make yourself useful, jaga bapak ko yang sakit tu. Not the way you intended, fleeing lepas tu nak cari kerja lain pakai permit yang we had paid for you and nanti bagi masalah pulak kat kitorang nak amek maid lain sebab tak ada sign check-out memo. Beatch!!

Ok, dah kurang sikit berat kepala. Sambung keje pulak (konon-konon)...