Aahhhh.. started the day by greeting someone by their initials.. problem is.. that someone is a lecturer with a Professor in front of his name.... adoi.. macam member jek panggil dia R.O.... isk... sorry sir... i dunno how it slipped my mouth.

Browsing thru GAP online shopping... initially to find a good pair of easy fit jeans for Dan coz he kinda ruined his when he washed 'em the other day. But then, the size he asked me to look for isnt available.. so.. went browsing in the women's section la pulak. Hmm... they have really nice jeans (white jeans i'd kill for!!), and pj pants i've always wanted.... Nice line of lingeries too... but simple non lacy ones lah.. so.. my preference would rather be blush! or something of that variant. Price range.... well.. quite costly if you're a malaysian... but for americans... so cheap!!! like the most expensive pair of jeans is like under 50 USD... hehe.. but try to convert that to RM....heheh.. you do the maths.But still... ok jugak la the price isnt it? around RM200... Levi's and Guess are like nearly RM300.... how come they dont have an outlet here???

A teeny weeny bit abt Ben... hehehe... that terrified mongrel... (huh?) I think he's in that i'm-avoiding-Noreen mode again...heheh.. freak! Apparently he must feel a little too provoked by our last conversation... To me the conversation is nothing.. seriously... we talked about you know... life and all.. i didnt even make any moves whatsoever to seduce him or anything of that sort.. unless of course if he thinks that my friendly gesture of saying bye-bye is some sort of a seducing act.. then.. i dunno.. i just said sth like "gotta go now dear" and if he feels me mentioning the word dear as provocative.. well.. too bad. he shouldnt feel that way.. after all Miss h uses that to him too doesnt she and she's just a "friend"??? well.. maybe its different in my case because he and Miss H has this thing going on (they claim its not a lovey-dovey relationship) that only they understand... (puke!~) what a load of crap... Well.. of course, initially i had the intention of getting back at him.. but now not anymore.. i've better things to do with my life... But.. if he's like avoiding me... it shows that i could be at the verge of getting that revenge doesnt it?... just push it a little bit more and i might just win!...hahahha...... dont worry benny... i wont go on with my plot of revenge... so hang loose a little will you??

Still cant stop laughing...LOL!!!

heheh.. back again.. cant start on work laa... once you're logged to blogger; you're hooked! iskk.... added a few links there that might help... hmm...

I've just reviewed my budget for this month.. Turned out that i'm still following the budget.. hehehe.. see... i'm not spending unaccordingly! Duh!~.... so.. next month, i'm sure to grab that nike sport shoes i saw in Putrajaya.. hehehee....

Ok..ok..stopping already.... :p

Heya!! came accross this person's blog.. and its sooo cool! I wonder if i'm allowed to link to that person. He's Fort's cousin's friend and his bloggie is full of pics and artworks coz he's an artsy person who's into music, writing and photography... qualities that you seldom find in guys. Somehow, i do hope he and Fort can kinda click since they both share quite a number of interests. Lagipun kesian kat Fort.. so alone. Perhaps this guy could offer her something good. I love his artworks and photographies. He mentioned sth abt doing the coloring job in Photoshop. Hmm.. havent tried Photoshop ever. I thot its a tool just for photo-editting (not consisting of colorings and etc)... Hmm.. now that i've found out that it offers more than just editting.. i might wanna install that and have fun with photoshop (hahah.. macam2 nak buat... flash player pun tak katam lagik! :p Typical ol' Noreen!)

Dan's getting better, alhamdulillah. He might come out of the hosp on wednesday or thursday, depending on his xray results today, but he'll hafta continue a 10-days-home-quarantine. I do hope his x ray will be normal. Its like.. even though he looked fine, the fact that he's in the hospital still worries me more or less.... Y'know?

I think i had this extra surge of energy yesterday... i was quite restless.. probably still overwhelmed by the whole meet the parents thingy. But... i kinda missed the company of Mr and Mrs Nizar somehow... heheh.. told that to Dan and he thinks i'm weird. For a fraction of a second.. i think i am too... Hmmpphh..?

Ok.. gotta find stuffs on mobile internet application development.... *Yawn!~*

Hello world!!! woke up on a monday morning with a very nice feeling... :) weird, but true. Went visiting Dan again at HBPP... his condition is improving, alhamdulillah... and i cant wait for him to get outta there. Guess what.. went lunching with his parents as well....hehehe.. details as follows....

Meet The Parents Episode 1
Date: April 24th, 2003 (Thursday)
Venue:HBPP Outside SARS Ward

Just came back from Gurney Plaza with Nura after Maghrib prayers. Spent some time at the hosp already with Dan before going to Gurney and his mom called telling him that they're on the way. His mom asked me to wait for them... uh-oh... No where to hide.. no reasons to escape!!! So, all the way from Gurney Plaza to HBPP, i was trying to calm myself in the car.. i sang, i shouted, i danced (yep.. all that in the car!) til Nura asked me.. "What is wrong with you??" heheh... Nothing is wrong... other than the fact that i'm dead nervous about meeting Dan's parents for the first time!!!! Duh!~

Okay.. after a very short drive, we were at the hosp. My heart felt like it's ready to make a jump out of my system, my knees felt kinda jellyish... and the butterfly in my stomach might have grown to be a t-rex!! Despite all that, i managed to actually walk towards the SARS wards, looking calm... or so i think la... and when i reached the place... there they were!!! at that time, her mom was speaking with Dan thru the phone.. so i crept up behind them... smiling... (smiles do wonders to hide what's actually going on inside you!) When her mom hung up, she turned towards me and greeted me by my name... and i shook her hands (+cium tangan) and she hugged me and kissed me... phew!!! That was really a relief! Then.. salam uncle pulak.... he looked tired.. kesian uncle!

Since it was already 8+, they said they'd better return to the hotel.. so i asked them where they're staying and if they know their way around.. and his mom said they do coz she stayed in penang before settling down with uncle Nizar... now that's something Dan never told me about... Hmmph... Then she asked if we're going home right after and i told her that we were. She offered us to stay at the hotel with them coz she was worried about us having to drive all the way to n.tebal at night.. but of course, we had to turn her down. So, she asked me to give her a call when we arrive coz she said she's really worried... :) So sweet!

Verdict:
When Dan called me later that night, he said that his mom liked me! Hehehhe... Thank God!!! Turned out that his mom's ok. His dad too... They're really nice and not the scary people as pre-programmed in my head... hehehe... Well.. one must always prepare for the worst right.. so pictures in my head is always the worst-case scenarios ones...

Meet The Parents Episode 2
Date: April 27th, 2003
Venue:HBPP Outside SARS Ward

I was hanging out outside Dan's window, smsing him instead of calling because my new battery had drained off power after talking to him earlier.Then, when his reply came on my phone, my phone was already giving out this loud buzz indicating that the battery's terribly low and i kinda cursed and jumped around a little as i was checking his msg because of the damn battery... and... suddenly i heard " Noreen...." Uwaaa!! Shock of my life.. his mom was standing there beside me!!! So i suddenly became this timid, sweet person.. " ermm.. oh.. aunty.. you're here already.." salam...salam... (I really hope she didnt hear me curse!!) Then. she gave out 2 surgical masks and asked me to wear one and give the other to Nura. So thoughtful of them!!

Then, after a while, we went out for lunch. She'd invited me to do so the day before when i called her saying that i might go and visit Dan on Sunday.. and she went like "Oh... maybe we can go for lunch together. And i said.. yeah.. y not..So.. she asked where we'd like to go... so i forwarded the question to Nura coz i dunno.. and finally, we agreed to go to komtar...

Felt so tiny sitting there in the car.. even with Nura there with me.. Dan was supposed to be there with me!Not nura... but of course, i'm thankful that Nura was there.. at least i wasnt alone to face all that!! Her mom asked about my family.. abt my mom.. my bro..where i live.. my birthday... how often i go back....hmm... dya think something fishy might be going on here????? i certainly hope not..... I'm not ready to attend any family dinners yet!!!

When we were at Komtar, we went to this nasi kandar place and i dunno y but the idea of eating with fork and spoon just didnt register in my head... so i asked for chicken.... hehehehe... clever gal... And.. this mamak gave me this really big portion of chicken wing.. When all of us sat at the table, and each one reaching for a pair of fork and spoon.. then, reality started sinking in.... I'd hafta eat with fork and spoon and i'm eating chicken wing!!!! Dan's supposed to be there to debone the chicken for me!!! Again.. Uwaaa!!!! So... i sat there, holding my fork as firmly as possible... and dig into the chicken... and get the meat out bit by bit... slowly.. trying not to try too hard and appear effortless... heheh.. when inside i was praying that the chicken wont go flying out of my plate into someone else's!! (Which.. if that happened.. it would most probably be her mom's coz she was sitting in front of me)... Luckily for me.. everything went fine.. i didnt finish the chicken... which is kinda dissapointment coz the chicken was good... but at least, i still have it in my plate until after i was done eating... Phew!!!~~ :)

Verdict:
Later that night, Dan called as usual and told me that his mom loves me!!!! She said i'm sweet (ekhem!), soft spoken (Wakakakakaaa!!!) and bersopan santun (LOL n rolling on the ground!). Oh boy! hehhe.. that's the advantage of being a Gemini... If you play your parts well, only the goody-goody twin gets exposed and be in the limelight. The wicked, naughty twin is reserved for those close to you. ]:)

Ok.. so that was it.... meeting Dan's parents. Apparently, meeting them for the first time had been a really nice, beautiful and an unforgettable experience for me. Thinking about it, i'm so lucky that his parents are so kind and very welcoming and made my first encounter with them a very pleasant one. :) There goes my 1st hurdle.... the 2nd one (and counting!) awaits!! meeting the rest of the family.. and attending to almas!! .....good luck gurl!

Hahaa... first things first.... check out this site...

http://thestar.com.my/SARS/story.asp?file=/2003/4/25/SARS/cmsars24&sec=SARS

That's my boyfriend in the news!!!!

Anyway.. went visitting him yesterday.... i didnt go in the ward though.. no one is allowed to go in except the staffs on duty. So i saw him through his window... he looks ok.. He said he felt fine.. and they run a blood test on him yesterday, and thank God, his blood is clear from any virus. Alhamdulillah.. that really takes this huge weight i feel on my head. Today, he's gonna go through a 2nd x-ray test... and truly hope everything will be fine.

Guess what.. i met his parents!!!!!! They came at around 2000 hrs.. at that time, nura and myself had just arrived from gurney.. solat+makan... its like.. oh boy.. how do i put it...hm... nanti la continue... i can still feel my heart thumping loudly..heheh... currently, i'm still kinda overwhelmed with this thing abt my bf in the news and all... he was also mentioned on mhi this morning! gawd... chOke!~~

Going to HBPP in 40 mins... hmm... called him as frequently as possible.... Before leaving for penang, gonna go to the magstore to get fhm for him.... so that he can read something and not get bored. His parents are already on their way.. i think... and its quite likely that i'm meeting up with them later... hmm.. at this state... the idea of meeting his parents doesnt trouble me as much... as long as i can see him.

Somehow, i'm more at ease now... trying to see the positive side of everything.. :) i know he'll be fine... i know...

Howcome flooble chatterbox isnt available?? Hmmphhh..anyway..all done with spice... at last... and that kinda take off the stress a bit..hmm.. gonna browse thru the net to clear my mind a bit...

Hmmm... feeling very, very worried right now.. not in the mood to write about MIMOS... Dan is now in hospital... probable SARS. Worried?... that is such an understatement.. what i feel now is beyond worried. He called last night.. saying that things are okay.. telling me not to worry (yeah right!..like that's possible). God... i so wanna be with him right now... all alone in the quarantine ward of HBPP... Called K.Chaq asking her if i can go visit Dan in the ward.. K. Chaq said absolutely not... even hospital staffs who're not under SARS patients duty are not allowed to be there... I dunno... i still wanna go... gotta screw swimming today.. sorry gals.

Sigh!~ Dunno whatta do..dunno whatta say...

It was a great day yesterday.... everything went smooth and fine.. MIMOS.. Putrajaya.... Dan coming back... EVERYTHING! Alhamdulillah.... stories abt MIMOS and Putrajaya tour.. have to spend some time typing that.. so.. i'll do it later... This time... just a minor blogging.. you know.. just to satisfy my cravings to blog.... hahaha.... blogging crave.. can you imagine...

Anyway.. might as well write abt something... Dan came back yesterday from Hong Kong.. with a minor fever.. and he got it checked.. you know.. with the SARS scare around the country... and he's found SARS negative... but.. he's to be quarantined for 10 days and that disabled him of his flights... kesian... poor baby... Hmm.. at least that'll certaily provide him with enough rests but... well... screw the buts...heheh... Tu la.. suruh makan vitamin supplements degil.. :p

Hmm... cant wait for this SARS thingy to be over....

Did some surveying on my male friends... If given a choice, would they choose a seem-to-be-flawless celeb(assuming that they can have them if they want to) over their own girlfriend... well... shockingly enough for me.. they'd still choose their girlfriend... after all.. she is still the person they love.... could this apply to every men? hmm... can i relate this to my "complication" to make me feel better???

Spent the weekend at Nura's. T'was a good, nice weekend. Went looking for Nura'sa MPB(read:Multi Purpose Bag) on saturday and had delicious cheesecakes from the secret recipe later that day. Sunday, went out to prangin mall with both nura and amir. walked around for a while, finding sandals for nura and had a nasi kandar lunch at sg 2's pelita nasi kandar. It was beter than kayu's but... termasyur's wayy better. Planned to make Dan a bday card during the weekend but was kinda outta idea on how to do it... hmm... ended up window shopping and lazing around the whole weekend... and yeah..stressing abt things i shouldnt even thinking of!!! I can get really weird sometimes....

Its Dan's bday today... but he's not around.... so sad.... Even sadder, he's not around to convince me about one thing i already know... well.. you know how girls need reassurance. Hehee.. its like this... Thursday, we met and somehow this story broke out... he told me he'd imagine abt this celeb once, before he even met me... so.. oklaa... But, throughout the whole weekend, i got more and more insecure. He told me that he dont even think of that celeb again after knowing me but is that really the case? Its not that i dont trust him.. i do.. but i just need to get this out of my system... Its like.. if that celeb's within his reach, would he even consider having and wanting me??? Would he? Its like this celeb has everything a girl could only ask for and God knows how many parents would want her as a daughter in law... its like..compared to her i'm completely nothing.... oh dear.. now that thought really brings me to tears... Cant let this bug me anymore... Its killing my confidence!!.. There..its all out.. i wish he's here to straighten things out a bit.

Anyway... last friday... had a conversation with Ben.. and i dunno.. i dont feel like going on with my initial plan of revenge anymore. I just want to befriend him like the good old times... no more wanting to hurt him or anything. i figured that it's not worth my time.. he has his own problems.. and i dont think i can carry the guilt of hurting someone. Who knows.. my plan could backfire for all you know... heh..

Better finish my SPICE. I hate this thing and i dont even remember why i agreed to do this SPICE thing in the first place!! Really not worth it.. this is it.. no more SPICE after this! I despise SPICE!

Hmm... this morning i was stressing out a bit and feeling so left out and uninvited... now i feel like eloping.... Oh boy.... must be the loneliness...

I'm going to Nura's this evening and gonna stay there for the weekend. Her parents have to go to Melaka urgently so we have to take care of Nura's aunt... hmm... would appreciate a nice, quiet weekend.. away from SPICE madness..

Be back on monday....

But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Heh.... need i say more? well... as new people comes by.. the old ones just fades huh?....

Went to penang yesterday and met Dan at vistana around 1300... waited a while in his room while he comleted his work and went to KBJ to have our fav Quarter Pounder at McD... KBJ is a bore!! There's like nothing there... luckily i was with him.. :)

Hmm.... i cant hardly write a thing.. have this feeling of 'loss' lingering inside me.... i miss dan so much... he'll be in Hong Kong for the next 5 days!!!!......sad.... and hafta continue with SPICE... :(

I dunno why but when i was about to retreat home yesterday, frens called me and talked about their problems. I could just listen coz i really dont know what to do or say to them... i could only wish them the best and tell them to be brave to face everything that comes along the way.

More or less the problems i heard from these friends were about health problems. One friend was diagnosed with a cyst in one of her ovaries and she had to undergo an ultrasound, plus some other painful procedures to retrieve the cells of the cyst. When the result came, the cyst turns out to be a functional one and it may develop into cancer. She said that doctors cant remove just the cyst alone, instead the whole ovary has to be removed in order to get rid of it. Luckily, that doesnt have to be done now.... but she said she has to go for an ultrasound again if her pains persists.

Another friend was telling me about his girlfriend, who suffered from ovarian cancer. The girl is younger than i am... maybe about 2 yrs younger. He said that the girl had gone through a series of surgeries and the most recent one was a couple of weeks ago in switzerland. After the op, she was unconscios for a few days and was admitted to the ICU. Then, when she had regained her consciousness, she's paralyzed... the whole body. I was shocked.. and really sad to hear about it... i became speechless... i dont know what to say to him... I could only listen.

After all that, i realized now that i've been taking my good health for granted. I'm so lucky to be blessed with a good health... The only ailment that i'd come across were the common cold and mild fever... That didnt make me thankful enough.... I'd still complaint about my physique.... and... dont take much care of myslef and sometimes do things that can harm myself.... I'm so guilty towards myself.... From now on, i'm going to love me the way i am.. and pamper myself as much as i can!! PROMISE!

Ok.. to all my friends.. bare that in mind too... sometimes we get obsessed to lose weight/ get a great figure and forget that we might be harming ourselves... All that for what??? The key is not to overdo.... do things a little at a time. Good health has to be maintained. What you are now reflects what you will be in the future... hehe.. tell that to myself too!

Off to do a little SPICE..

P/S: Going to penang at 1100 later.... cant hardly wait!!

Had a conversation with my virtual friend yesterday, Shaz an aussie muslim. I've known him thru the net for quite some time now and we've been great buddies. Yesterday, he told me about his dilemma with his gf, Oah, a Thai. They're so madly in love... but the fact that both of them are from different religions worries him a lot. So he asked my opinion... I told him.. to get a person to convert is a challenge, to keep them from straying is another.. all in all its a tough job.. but not an impossible one. He asked me.. how could he show the girl the beauty of Islam.. cant remember how i replied to that.. but i think.. i became short of words... So... its really important to be good in language, especially the universal one... not just written, but spoken as well... Its difficult to say what's on your mind when you come out with all the wrong words... that could lead to miscommunication... which is very, very NOT good.. i know.. i had experience...

Gotta brush up on my language.... oh boy...

P/S: Dan's mom asked him if i'd be back this weekend to attend his bday dinner.... a very, very good reason NOT to go back home this weekend. Sorry aunty... gotta wait til raya... (..chOke!~..)

Alamaaakkkkk.. Dr Rizal just called asking abt his SPICE moduls... he gave us "Masa Kecemasan" til next Thursday to complete everything... Anyhow, anyway,.. i promised myself to complete it by the end of this week... so gonna do that now..... Chiow!

I HATE SPICE!!

Lovely morning... just had a phone call frm Dan right after i got off shower (talk about good timing!) saying that he's already in Penang and he'd made a perfect landing!!! :) He's good!! Anyway, went breakfasting with Nura at the Pejabat Tanah (heheh.. as if we have business there apart frm eating) and had fried beehoon.... was okay but i prefer their chinese style fried beehoon and mee bandung better.

Ok... reviewing about the movie "Trapped". Its about this lovely family.. i cant remember their surname... consisting of the body beautiful Charlize theron, a cute guy who played her hubby and an intelligent 5 yr old girl who played the severely athmatic daughter. The guy is a doctor and met Charlize when she was a nurse.... so they got married and had a beautiful married live.

One day, Kevin Bacon comes along with his bitchy wife played by Courtney Love and kidnapped theron's daughter, not knowing that the daughter has athma. They came up with a brilliant plan, different from other kidnappers (whom kevin regards as stupid), that they can even meet the kidnapped-kid's parents face to face... because they were so certain they couldnt be harmed, thanks to their good planning. You see, the motive behind the kidnapping wasnt just greed alone... its more about vengeance, that explains how they could come out with a good plan (that usually happens when vengeance is the trigger right??)

Anyway... things happen.. the girl got sick bla.. bla... you have to watch it... coz i wont tell... and well.. it has a happy ending.. Oh yeah.. did i mention that the father of that kidnapped girl is a flying doctor?? Yess!! he flies as well.... not a big aircraft... but still.. he flies.. and he's a doctor by profession.. Gawd!! The part i love most in the movie.. when Charlize pseudo-seduced Kevin and later sliced him up with a scalpel... boy must that hurt... Ironically, she helped him treat the wound... huh? Well... you hafta watch the movie... worth the watch.

Tomorrow's Thursday.. and.. penang, penang.... here i come!! :D

Spent the weekend at home.. watched a couple of vcds and did a little studying on SPICE thingy. We watched 'The Core' played by some actors i dunno their names and hillary swank... and 'Trapped' played by Charlize Theron and Kevin Bacon to name a few... Both are full of action... but The Core failed to amaze me in a way that it failed to reason with my logic...? hmm...?

Its like.. 1st question: How do they actually know what it looks like down there in the earth's core? yeah.. we have geologists and geophysist whatever you call them and they study about those kind of stuffs... Yes, they may come out with theories on what it looked like inside the earth.. but its just theories... nobody had ever been there to prove if those theories are right, right?? Its a totally different case with the outer space where we'd seen proofs and people had actually been up there.

2nd: According to Nura, there are no materials even ceramics, (she referred to ceramics, which class can stand extreme heat) that can stand the heat up to 9000 degree Fahr... well at least not yet. And these people came up with a machine that actually can go inside the earth towards its core where its really, really hot..... It doesnt make sense that they can actually survive in that tunnelling machine thingy and its just a little too fantasy-like to have a machine that can stand extreme pressure and heat all at the same time. Nura said that usually, if a material can stand extreme heat, its usually brittle. And there goes this machine that can go through layers of earth (which we believe are made of rocks on the outer layer) and at the same time it can also stand the heat... yeah right. A little too much of a dream at the present moment isnt that?

And all that trouble for what??? To mend the problems caused by the paranoid US presidency. They came up with this nuclear twinning thingy to fail other countries' nuclear attack attempts (which they're not sure whether they're going to attack.. they're just being "ready" if being attacked -->more of being a paranoid freak i think) which turns out to be a disaster... and they think they can play God and get things back to normal... keep on dreaming.

So.. all in all.. i think it was a movie not worth watching at the cinema.. and even watching it from a pirated vcd is a waste of time... So.. i wouldnt reccomend anyone to watch it.. might as well watch Trapped.... i'll review it later.. :) Right now, gotta continue checking my mails.

Had a conversation with a fellow friend yesterday and somehow we both got silent after one of us said, "tak bangga ke jadi bangsa melayu?" Well... that question still roams in my mind til now actually.... i havent been reading so much about the Malay achievements but somehow, i tend to see more of the negative side of my own race. I feel like i'm draining out of reasons to be proud of being one. By that, i dont mean that i wish to be from a different race.... its just that.. malays are subjected to quite a number of negative elements; lazy, weak, jealousy.. the list seems endless...... should that make me proud?

Maybe the fact that malays are the major population in this country, provided with 'bumis-only' advantages, wealth and wellness of the country makes us malays forget that we still have to struggle to be better than the others. No doubt, i sometimes forget that responsibility myself... malays are so forgetful. We usually choose to see only the nicer side of things like us being the major population; us being registered at universities, us being datuks and datins... bla. bla... what we fail to see.. or choose not see.. is that... quite a number of our population is within the walls of prisons and rehabs.... most of our students in the local unis fail to excell and the list goes on and on.... what we see is usually only the tip of the iceberg... the underlying truth might scare us even more.

Like what our leaders said, we need to change the mind set of the malays... to be more realistic, more competitive. And that change.. it doesnt start anywhere else but from me myself..... And what better way to start changing other than to actually start than just say, right???

Ok... here i come to make changes... ;)

Shizers.. cant seem to concentrate on my reading unless i actually blog!! Teruk betul... Blogger really haunts me! No matter what, i'd hafta complete this analog lab module thingy by mid next week.... MUST...MUST..MUST!!!!

Went browsing to several other ppl's blog just now.... pretty cool, amazing stories.... A blog touching on the responsibilities of being a muslim really touched my heart.... Sometimes it feels like its easier not to know things rather than to know it and not perform what you know.... But then again, each muslim has the responsibility to find out on what they dont know... Cari, kuasai, kembangkan... hmmm.....

It gets confusing everythime you know.... One of my seniors had said to me... "Carik kebenaran Islam ni macam kelapa... nak jumpa isi yg putih bersih tu, mula mula kena lalu kulit yg keras... dapat lepas yg tu, sabut yg tebal pulak tunggu..." That is where we always gets lost.... In the quest of finding the truth, we get confused.. terjerat dalam sabut yang serabut (huh?) Thats why we have to learn from a guru.... The next big question is.. who is this real guru??? hmmm.. see... you poke into one question.... you dont necessarily get an answer.. instead.. you come out with more questions than what you had started with.

Entahlah.. loads of things to write.. just dont know how to form the right words for what i have in mind.... Everything seems to be in a blur... Hmm.. would be good if my dad is still around. I might seem an uninterested listener to his rather "mystical" preaches... deep inside, i really am interested. Miss you a lot dad.... happy 46th birthday today.

A friend of mine just mailed me this. :) Do enjoy

A POEM THAT IS SO TRUE

Never say I love you
If you don't really care
Never talk of feelings
If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand
If you mean to break my heart
Never say forever
If you ever plan to part
Never look into my eyes
If you are telling me a lie
Never say hello
If you think you'll say goodbye
Never say that I'm THE one
If you dream of more than me
Never lock up my heart
If you don't have the key

Just remembered something.... something kinda cute, to lighten your day. I had breakfast with kakak ina, my housemate just now... so we were talking abt stuffs.. Then, she was telling me abt her life as a student in the U.S. This one time, she and her friends went somewhere and there was this mat salleh kid with his mom.. He was really amazed looking at this kakak and her friends (wearing tudung and all) that he asked her mom questions abt them. Her mom, not knowing how to answer said to the kid,"well why dont you ask them" and she took him out of his pram thingy and he walked towards one of the kakak's friend... know what he asked?? The toddler said "Are you superman??" heheh.. cute huh?

Went swimming in main campus Png yesterday... heheh.. well... if you can regard bobbing up and down the water as swimming. Nevertheless, alqas taught us a thing or two abt swimming (us=satria+aura+myself), so it wasnt just plain bobbing in and out of the water... I really enjoyed it! Totally fun.

There are 3 pools in the main campus... the baby pool, for kiddies under the age of 6, obviously not for us.... then there's the momma pool, which is actually the dive pool... and we spent our time swimming there.. and there's also the papa pool, the largest of all but we didnt use that one as the pool is a lil too open.... I cant believe i actually freaked in the water.. heheh.. a bit... Its like i know how to float myself and all... its just that i cant overcome my panic and fear of drowning.. hmm... which disabled me to actually swim... if i can overcome my fears.... i'm sure i'll be fine.. the big question is... HOW????? care to help??

Still overwhelmed with this aura of nice-7th-heaven-i-dunno-howto-describe kinda feeling... heheh.. over what...? hmm.. over the conversation i had with Dan's mom the other day.... :) hmmmm....

However... i had a kinda weird dream last night... of Ben.... we were in a car... i said my bye-byes... and got down. The setting was like i'm never have anything to do with him anymore... hmmm... interesting.

Might be going to MIMOS, K.L on the 22nd... :) sooo, i might spend the weekend there and go back by the campus' bus on the 22nd... cool huh? But.. if i'm to be in kl at that time, i'd probably hafta join Dan's family for his bday dinner... uh-oh.... dont think sooo!!! Not just yet... so..??? dunno... will think of that later. Chiow for now.

Got back from KL last night.. and got everything for the agreement ready. God!! You cant imagine what happened! I was panicking over the whole thing, i got into one trouble after another. Dont feel like writing abt all those stuffs though.... enough stupidity to last me a lifetime... and i ended up getting Dan to be one of my guarantors... heheh.. poor baby.

Anyway, Dan's mom bought me a pink batik sutera when she went to KB.. about a week ago or so.. and it's really beautiful!! Cant wait to take it to the tailor to make a baju kurung from it! Then i talked to his mom, thanking her for the kain and hey.. she sounded as excited as i was.. or so i think laa... At least she didnt sound as shocked as she did when i 1st talked to her like 2 mths ago... :) Phew! Guess what... i even got her sunnies... one that she bought but never wears... so she gave it to me... and i think i forgot to mention the sunnies when i thanked her for the kain... bommer!

Last Saturday, one my cuz came to our place. He just got a baby and was very excited about it and told us his experiences being in the labour room with his wife and stuffs... Later, i asked my mom about my birth. My mom said that i was born the day i was due to born, but her labour pains started like the night before i was actually born. Like i was born on the 27th, her pains started on the night of the 26th, and carried on to the night of the 27th when i was born at exactly 9.16 p.m... or so, as printed in my birth cert... hmm.. Pity my mom huh?? Suffering the pain for like 24 hours or so. Lucky her that the child born was a cute and adorable one ;) and continued to be as adorable now, 23 yrs later.... hehehehehhh.... :D

Dunno what else to write.... better go do my work..

Switched my mind about writing abt the 2nd part of my dream. Its a lil adult's rated... so wont share it.. hehe... sucker!

Anyway. Got my agreement forms for pasca yesterday and i'm supposed to send it back by the 9th. So i'm going home this afternoon to get everything settled. Good thing Dan's off days are today and tomorrow. At least i can see him even for just a little while. NEWS: her mom actually bought me a batik frm kelantan.... :) so thoughtful of her!!! Hmm... gonna bake her a marble cheese cake... kalau sempat.

My BB friends are planning a Genting get-away. Not confirmed when yet. The initial plan was to go in april.. but guess it wont be coz everyone is a bit penniless (well obviously... we dont use pennys here..duh!) Economically strained... so.. might postpone it to next month.. or june... I'm looking forward to it.. coz i havent been to Genting for ages... and i cant hardly remember the last time i had the day out with the girls.... Miss the good 'ol times. i remember the time when we were in form 4, the whole class of 4 Sc. 1 went to the Sunway Lagoon and we had a tremendous time. Still have photos of the thing... i was sooooo fattt!~ hehehhe....

Looking back at the days.... it was fun being a schoolgirl, really. You dont really have any problems.. well the only problems i faced when i was in school were having to make excuses for not completing my homeworks/reports on time... hehe... We'd hang out at McD Jln Bukit Bintang for hours.. and later wait for the bus in front of Starhill with Fort.. again for hours. :) I can still recall having to line up outside the class before going in .. and boy.. do we love to do that.. simply because our classroom was on the 1st floor and we could get a very nice view of the Starhill and KLP from there... We'd gossip, and go ga-ga if we see cute guys or mat sallehs around.. hahaha... The good 'ol times....

I was so clueless about dressing up back then, particularly because i was so fat... :( and my usual wear would be baggy shirt and baggy jeans. I hate having to buy a pair of jeans because it kills me to fit into one... Well.. actually that is still my problem now coz its difficult to find a pair of jeans with small waistline and generous, roomy hipline. See.. i've got a big derrierre.... hmm.. forces of nature. ;) Anyway.. back then, i would wear white, semi transparent shirt ontop of a floral prited ekhem..innerwear... why? i dunno... attention seeking maybe? i was such a lunatic! Like the size alone wont get me the attention already!

But all that changed.. for the better.. i think.... I dont wear things like that anymore... Me now?? a more contented person... coz i have everyone i love and care about with me, and they love and care about me in return (i hope!!.. :)). What more could i ask for?? (A slimmer figure? heheh.. that will come..)

Ok.... gotta go back to learning SMIL.

Life sucks.... heh.. yeah.. the time comes again for the dreaded unstable emotions mode. I hate this time of the month very much. I so wish that i could just break free of the same, mundane lifestyle... Its quite unfair to blame life as being unfair just because i feel hellish... what the heck..it sucks anyway... Well... just hafta go by it.. sometimes life's wonderful, sometimes it sucks. At least i'm still here to taste the bittersweetness of life.... (huh??)

Had the weirdest dream last night... Weird, and yet surprising... and i woke in the morning really surprised!! (duh..) Anyway.. well.. had 2 dreams actually.. The 1st wasnt quite nice.. actually quite disturbing. I broke off into a terrible fight with one of my dearest friends, and it the fight was soooo damn fiery... Scared the shit outta me.. The 2nd dream was better... and there, the surprise came.. Heheh.. gotta continue abt this later. Going out for lunch.

Additional lesson to Look and LEARN... Lesson #3: Never give up hope. Always have faith in your hopes and dreams.. coz it might just come true!

Hmm... what a nice, nice morning. Not feeling crappy anymore. See how huge environmental elements effect the way one feels?? Went to penang last night. Went to Kayu Nasi Kandar and met Dan and his friend, Abg Ishak, a bachelor flight engineer there. His flight to Hong Kong will be this afternoon... Do hope everything will be fine.

Know what.. last night i was full of ideas of whatta write. Suddenly this morning... all my ideas are gone. Hmm... feel like tennising this evening. Hope it doesnt rain. heheh.. tenissing.. what a word... Anyway... gotta fine new stuffs for my project. No more FPGAs.. Now i'm concentrating on writing an application for mobile devices. New challenges awaits! Chiow.

Crappy, crappy day. Had the presentation this morning.. wasn't bad.. but not good either. I dont think its because of that.... i just feel so crappy inside.. which in turn makes today so miserable. Its so unfair. Today is supposed to be a fun day... but its not.

Look and LEARN!! Lesson #1: Dont make other people miserable just because you are. Really have to bare that in mind. The hurt caused by it is beyond imagination. If you're not happy.. better keep it to yourself... its unfair to make other people feel crappy the whole day. It doesnt help you.. and it doesnt help them and it doesnt help anyone else. Keep that misery to yourself and talk about it nicely when you're ready to.

Lesson #2: Never make promises you dont think you can keep. If you did make a promise and it turned out that you cant fulfil it, by all means.. apologize!! An apology is much, much appreciated than a long face. Really. When a promise is made, hopes fly high... if the promise is broken, it wont be the only thing that's broken. The hope will shatter and feelings might be hurt.

Never make those mistakes..especially to the ones you love and care about. I really hope i can remember this at all times. I know.. i've been a sore to quite some people before. I wish i hadnt and i'm trying really hard not to anymore. Support and guidance are very much welcome!!

Glad to have typed everything... it feels like this big lump inside me had been cleared!

I'm still up.. not watching tv.... instead i'm doing this SPICE thingy... Cool huh? NOT!! I'd hafta finish this tonight, by hook or by crook coz its quite impossible to finish it up tomorrow morning coz i have a presentation coming up (wish me luck!) and i do hope to go to png later that day... coz i wanna see Dan. Miss him sooo much... hehe.. plus, i might see him in his uniform!! ;) Super turn-on!

Had a tough time with SPICE.. yeah..like the old days.. doing SPICE with Dr Awan... NEVER easy!! i've never imagined that it'll still be as difficult! Well maybe coz i havent been practising it.... as a matter of fact, i dont even use it anymore! Anyway.. drew 3 SPICE circuitry... 1 question for each chapter i'm assigned to. Simulated the circuits.. though i'm not quite certain what the sim's all about... bad huh? hehh...tell me about it. Next.. i'm gonna do the theoritical calculations... this i can cheat.. coz all the simulated ckts was taken from examples... hehe.. so the solutions are basically there... :) just need to copy!

My junior from schoool is online.. wanna talk to her abit and finish my work... chiow!