4 days and counting...

Gawd it's so damn close right now. Starting to get all jittery. :p hate it. My days are filled with preparations, my nights are filled with tears. Don't ask me why. My eyes tend to get all teary as i go to bed. :p Maybe it's stress getting to my head.. maybe i'm just overly freaked out about the whole marriage thingy.. and maybe i'm just afraid.. afraid of the unknown. :(

Raya went with me driving all over the place, from Shah Alam to Kuang to accompany my mom to send the invitations to relatives. It was exhausting.. but i enjoyed it coz we got to see everyone we wanted to see. Usually, the annual "raya beramai2" will see us go to some of our relatives houses but having to go back without entering the house coz the owner isn't around..

Second raya, hmm... spent it at home. My cousins and uncles and auties came by and helped out with the preparation. At that time i felt the excitement.. seronok, with everyone doing something, giggles, laugter and chats here and there. It's a load of fun. So that day, my candies for the kids are done, door gifts almost done.. except for a few yang belum lagi... So is my mossie net that will be used as a deco item for the bedroom.. is half done, thanks to my creative cuzs.. so now, there's less work to be done... but still a lot of work though. Gonna hafta complete my hantarans by tomorrow nite.. hmm.. sempat ke tak. kena bg sempat jugakla..

Third raya, everyone were busy preparing for a kenduri.. Bukan kenduri apa pun.. kenduri tahlil, sekali dengan mendudukkan penanggah. My mom gave me some time off after lunch, so that i can go shopping with my cousins. Got myself a pair of white pants, a pretty good fit, except that it's a little loose around the waist, and also got myself a dainty blouse from Somerset Bay. We got back from the shopping spree at around 5, helped out with a few final touches for the kenduri, and got ready for it by isyak. Not many people turned up though.. Myabe because it's a saturday and it was the 3rd day of raya.. People were still away for the raya hols.

Fourth raya, continued to shop for last minute items at Nilai 3. Huhu... byk dah melabur kat kedai tu. Hampeh. :p

Dan came back from Hong Kong last night. Kesian dia.. he had to celebrate raya in HKG. It's a relief to be able to talk to him.. to tell him my worries, my fears... he's also experiencing the same thing. He said.. everything will be back to normal as soon as we both come back from our honeymoon. We'll get back to our lives as we used to, the only difference is now that we'll face our days together, instead of facing it alone.

Hmm... tak taula.. Marriages changes people, and it changes feelings. It worries me... My only hope is that our marriage will make our love for each other grow stronger with each passing day. When we first had our talks on getting married, i'd only imagined the good parts of marriage.. the romance, the privacy, the abundant of love, the joy of being together, the sweet love-making (hehe).. but as the day draws closer, all these beautiful picture of a perfect marriage ebbs away, and i'm left with sketches of reality. Marriage is never a bed of roses... it'll be a trying time for us both, especially during the first few years of marriage. I dunno how quickly i can adapt to changes and how quickly i can learn to care for him...

The kind of wife i want to be? A cross between Bree and Gabrielle of Desperate Housewives. I'd wanna be a perfect wife like Bree yet hot and fun like Gabrielle. Hehe.. minus the full-time housewife status of Bree and the infidelity of Gabrielle though!