Excitement in worry

I've been keeping this to myself for the past one week. At first, i didn't wanna tell anyone just yet, but i just can't keep it to myself. I need to let it out. I'm 6 weeks pregnant!!!!! Despite all my rantings in the previous post, i'm actually rather excited about the pregnancy. Hmm.. :) Imagining myself with a bump. No wonderla i felt so haywired the previous weeks.. emotional rollercoaster akibat buatan suami rupanya..Hehehe... :)

Anyways... two weeks back, as in the previous post, my period was late. At 5 days delay, i did a self test and it returned negative, much to my relieve (at that time). Told hubby, and he said ok but he felt kinda dissappointed in a way. When hubby said that, i kinda feel bad about it, but went about life as usual.

On the weekend, we went to my family gathering in PD and had loads of fun, and i engaged in a number of activities namely getting thrown into the water from the banana boat thingy (5 times), main terompah gergasi sampai jatuh2 terduduk, lari2 kat pantai, tarik tali dengan bersungguh2... stuffs like that. Hehe. Completely forgotten about my delayed period whatsoever.

Sunday, we got back to KL. Monday, class as usual. Monday night, period was still absent. That was a call for another self test. So it went.. pee - test - wait... A minute later... hmm.. still a single line.. and i took a closer look... Hmm.. i think i saw another faint line at the test area.. Hmm.. showed it to my hubby to confirm... he thought he saw it too.. and we were in confusion the whole night.

Tuesday, went to class, still anxious about last night's test result. During lunch break, i followed a friend to a pharmacy to get another kit and tested as soon as i reach my friend's room. The result returned a definite 2 lines!! I am pregnant!!! :)

As excited as I am, i can't help but to worry about the fetus. Last week both my hubby and i went to the gynae and she perfomed the ultrasound on me. She said i was 6 weeks pregnant, counting from the 1st day of the last period. The ultrasound showed us a tiny oval-shaped spot inside my uterus which the dr said was the baby! I was like so excited to see it. My very own baby. :) It was just abot 4mm long, but the worrying part was that the dr couldn't detect the heartbeat. She told me it was probably too early to find a heartbeat and asked me to come again in 2 weeks time. She said if in 2 weeks we still couldn't hear the heartbeat, there could be a problem with the pregnancy... which is really, really worrying me right now.

Read through some forums in the net about a fetus' heartbeat, it is said that usually it can only be heard after 8 weeks, and it's trickier to ind a heartbeat when the mother has tilted/retroverted uterus, a condition which i'm in (according to my previous obgyn). Dunnola... i'm just so worried. With this aching back i have right now, i'm even more worried since my mom and dan's granma said that backaches in the early pregnancy is not a good sign. Hmm... it'd been giving me bad dreams every night. Sigh!~

Ntahla... fikir salah, tak fikir pun salah. Whatever it is, i believe that whatever is happening is God's will, and only the Almighty knows what's best for his servants.
Kita cuma mampu berdoa diberi kekuatan atas segala ketentuanNya.